Never Letting Go
by tokillamockingjay06
Summary: The Quarter Quell has ended, but Peeta couldn't make it. Katniss finds out that she did love Peeta, and gets depressed because she couldn't save him. She'll fall in love with someone else who has been helping her to cope with the death of one of the people she cared the most..
1. Chapter 1

**I think this chapter is kind of dramatic and it may seem a little cheesy or boring****, but it'll eventually get better, I promise! After all, it's the introduction.**

**Oh, and please forgive me for my bad grammar, english is not my native language.**

* * *

_My name's Katniss Everdeen. I'm sixteen years old. I survived the Hunger Games. I don't know why. I went to the arena and survived once again. District twelve doesn't exist anymore. I'm now living in District thirteen. Peeta died in the 75th Hunger Games, because of me…_

"Katniss?" Gale whispers "Are you okay?"

"I killed him" I mutter bitterly. "I'm a murder…"

"Katniss, it's not your fault…" he says.

"It's not my fault?!" I laugh bitterly "He should've got out of the arena, Gale! Not me! I should've not left him alone!" Gale slowly caresses my cheek

"Everything's okay, Catnip, you couldn't save him, it isn't your fault."

"Don't you understand it?! I'm selfish. I was supposed to take care of Peeta, and I didn't freaking do it!"

"It wasn't your job; you don't have to feel this way, Katniss!"

"If I didn't take care of him, who would've done it?! I was his only hope and I betrayed him…" My vision starts getting blurry because of the tears. I blink them away. "I don't want to talk about this right now, Gale..."

"Okay, Katniss, I'll leave you alone." He mutters sadly.

"Thank you…" The moment Gale gets out of my room, I run out to the woods as fast as I can, I stop when I'm out of breath, I hold into a tree and break down, I feel weak as the tears start streaming down my face. "I'm sorry Peeta" I mutter. I yell and cry until I feel numb, I can't think about anything but Peeta... Why him?

I can't fight the guilt I feel… Why didn't I save him? Why am I alive? Maybe it's my punishment for not taking enough care of Peeta… I should've kept him next to me… I should go to the Capitol and let Snow kill me, that's better than living with this guilt… Suddenly, I hear the sound of footsteps behind me. I wipe my tears and turn around, it's Finnick.

"Why so blue, Girl on Fire?" he asks "Aren't you supposed to be bursting on flames?"

I look around me, it's dark now, and I think I lost sense of the time.

"I'd like to be set on fire right now…" I mutter. Finnick seats quietly next to me and hugs me.

"Everything's going to be fine, I'll be here for you, and we'll be together in this." He whispers in my ear. I smile weakly.

"Thank you, Finnick" I say as I look on his deep green-blue eyes, he smiles.

"Everything will be okay Katniss, I promise you." He looks for something in his pocket "Want a sugar cube?" he whispers and smiles seductively.

"Not now, thank you…" He sighs and hugs me tighter. I feel like if his hug glued all the pieces I broke into. "Thank you for being here with me…" I say looking into his eyes. I've never noticed how beautiful his eyes were, green-blue, like the ocean. Now I get why the people in the Capitol find him so irresistible.

"What's with my eyes?" he asks grinning.

"Nothing, it's just that I have never noticed that your eyes are the same color as the ocean, I like them"

"I know right, I'm irresistible, I bet that you're already falling for me… Aren't you Katniss?" He says with a huge smile on his face.

"Shut it, Finnick" I say laughing.

Why am I laughing? Am I insane or bipolar? I don't care, neither do I know. All I know is that Finnick's prescence helps me to cope with Peeta's death, surprisingly, I'd rather spend more time with Finnick than Gale. I sigh.

"That's it, you're madly in love with me." He says as he introduces a sugarcube into his mouth, I laugh.

"You're crazy..." I say smiling.

"I'm not crazy, Girl on Fire, I'm aware of the effect I have over you, and every single person I know." He says with a seductive smile.

"Hush" I say as I friendly punch him.

"Whoa, have you just punched me?" He says with fake resentment.

"Yup, I just did" I say with an innocent smile.

"Oh, Miss Everdeen, you'll regret that." He says grinning.

"Oh, sure." I say as I push him apart.

He stands up, picks me up like if I was a little girl and then carries me in his shoulder.

"Put me down!" I demand indignated. I guess I don't sound any convincing because I'm laughing as I say it.

"No, I'll have my revenge" He keeps carrying me on his shoulder and starts walking deeper into the woods, he stops when we're in front of a lake, I imagine what he's going to do, he's definitely going to throw me in.

"Don't you dare, Odair" I tell him serious and quietly.

"Why not?" he asks playfully "Let's turn off your flames, Girl on fire"

At the moment he starts taking me off his shoulder to, I grab his arm and he falls with me, we laugh and splash water at each other, like if we were little kids. He takes me in his arms like if I were a baby and walks out of the water; we sit on a tree log.

"Now you're not bursting in flames" he says smiling "You can thank me later."

"Maybe a punch will express my gratitude" I grin.

"Don't you like to swim?" He asks.

"I do, but I'd rather go hunting" I say smiling

"Maybe you should teach me how to hunt" he says "It would be useful"

We sit in silence for a while.

"Do you miss him?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah" I mutter sadly and feel the tears burning in my eyes, I blink them away, I can't afford myself to have another breakdown, less in front of Finnick or anyone. I take a deep breath and try to smile, but it looks more like a grimace than a smile "I guess he's in a better place…" My voice sounds like someone else's...

I never thought I'd miss Peeta like this, in fact, I never thought I'd lose him… He was too kind to die, he didn't deserve it. I should've died in his place. What hurts and tortures me the most is that I think I did love him, I'm not sure yet, but what do I know is that Snow is going to pay for everything and everyone he has taken away from me and the rest of the people from the districts.

"What are you thinking about?" Finnick asks looking me into the eyes.

"Nothing" I say as I get my feet back on the ground.

"You're the worst liar I've ever met, Katniss." He says with a smile.

I sigh and look at my feet; I hate feeling vulnerable and talking about my feelings; but, when it comes to Finnick, everything's different, I feel comfortable talking to him.

"I was thinking about Peeta, about how life would be if he were alive".

He doesn't say anything, he just hugs me tight and I feel his warmth surrounding me, it's a nice feeling, I hug him back and just let the tears stream down my face.

When I'm done crying I take a deep breath and hug Finnick one more time.

"Thank you" I whisper.

"It's okay; I'll be here for you whenever you need someone to talk to or just to hang out with. No matter what, I'll always be" He says smiling.

I ran to the woods to be alone and clear my mind, I needed a breath from everything that was lately going on; I didn't expect neither want anyone to find me, but I'm glad it was Finnick.

* * *

**This is it for the first chapter! Please tell me what you think about it(:**

**Thank you for reading. xo**


	2. Chapter 2

**I think this chapter is depressing as hell because I kind of wanted to explain how Katniss finds out that she loves Peeta, I also wanted to be true to the book and mentioned the pearl and how Katniss takes care of it. I really hope you enjoy it.**

**PS. Sorry for the lack of Finnick.**

* * *

_I'm in District twelve, in my house at the Victors' Village, I'm sitting next to the hearth with Prim, we're joking and laughing while mom's in the kitchen cooking dinner. I feel happy and complete. Someone knocks on the door. It's Peeta._

_"I've got you some cookies" He says with a wide smile, and kisses me in the lips._

_"Thank you" I whisper against his lips._

_I tell him to enter and he sits with Prim and me next to the fire._

_"Peeta! Guess what! Katniss is taking me to the woods!" She says excited._

_"Really? That's awesome!" He replies smiling_

_"Yeah" She says grinning "You should come with us!"_

_"I'll go if Katniss wants me to." He says looking at me._

_I smile and stare at him. I know nobody's perfect, but he's close; He's sweet, kind, caring, self-sacrificing… I find it hard not to like him._

_"I'll go help mom with the food. Peeta, do you want to stay for dinner?" Prim asks._

_"Sure, thanks, Prim." He replies smiling._

_Prim disappears into the kitchen. Peeta looks at me and smiles widely._

_"So you're taking us to the woods…" He says as he sits closer to me._

_"Yeah, I hope that none of you gets lost." I say laughing._

_"We won't." He says._

_He puts behind my ear a wisp of hair that got out of my braid and smiles at me._

_"I love you, Katniss." He whispers as he presses his forehead against mine and looks me in the eyes. His eyes are deep blue and beautiful. He kisses me soft and gently; I adore how his warm lips feel against mine, I run my hands through his blonde, soft hair. _

_"I love you, Peeta" I whisper against his lips. I feel him smiling while he kisses me._

_Someone bangs the door like if they wanted to bring it down. I growl, I don't want to leave his side for a second… They bang again._

_"I'll be right back" I mutter annoyed. I open the door and a group of peace-keepers break into my house. "Wh-What's going on?!" I yell scared._

_"President Snow's orders." A man says._

_I run to Peeta, but they're holding him._

_"What is going on?!" He shouts scared._

_I try to stop them, in vain; they push me away so hard I fall._

_ "Stop!" I yell "You just can't take him away!"_

_They ignore me and take Peeta out of my house; they throw him into the ground and kick him. _

_"STOP!" I yell again. I punch a peace-keeper in the face, he hits me back right in the face and sends me to the ground; I hit my head against the pavement and my vision turns blurry and dark. I try to stand up, but I have no control on my body._

_"Katniss!" Peeta screams._

_I stand up weakly and dizzy, I can't walk straight; I try to get to Peeta, and when I'm just a few meters away from him I hear a shot._

_"NO!" I scream panicked "No, no, no!" I see Peeta's body fall and run to him, I rest his head in my lap. The peace-keepers start leaving, but I don't care, Peeta is all that matters right now._

_"Katniss" he weakly whispers._

_"Hush… Everything will be okay, I'm here." I say with tears in my eyes I softly caress his cheek._

_"I love you, Katniss… More than anything" he mutters._

_"I love you too, Peeta" I say. He looks at the sky and smiles, he breathes heavily._

_"Look up" he says smiling "It's a beautiful sunset…"_

_I just can't look away, but I do. I lean at him and kiss him softly._

_"I'll always love you…" He whispers. Every second that goes by it gets harder for him to breathe._

_"I love you… I'll always do" I say crying. He wipes my tears away and smiles._

_"I'll always be with you." He says weakly._

_"I love you." I say as I look him in the eyes; He smiles at me and I press my forehead against his. We close our eyes and stay in silence. His breathing starts becoming heavier until it stops. I open my eyes and look at him._

_"No…" The tears burn in my eyes, I can't see clearly. "NO!" I scream. "Peeta, look at me!"_

I wake up yelling Peeta's name; tears are streaming down my face.

"Katniss…" I don't know whose voice it is, so I look around, it's Gale, he's sitting at the edge of my bed. I growl and angrily wipe my tears.

"How long have you been here?" I ask him.

"Long enough." He mutters.

"Did you see that?" I ask as I sit.

"Yes…" He looks worried and kind of sad.

I feel mad at him for watching how I reacted to my nightmare, but I also feel vulnerable, because he's noticed how Peeta's death affected me, I don't know why, but I'm terrified of people knowing how bad I feel. We stay in silence for a long while.

"I know it's stupid to ask this, but… Are you okay?" He asks breaking the silence.

"I'll cope with it…" I mutter.

He sighs frustrated. Maybe I'm making his patience run out.

"Katniss, do you know how much it hurts me to see you this way?" He says looking me in the eyes; he looks sad and tired. He sits next to me and runs his hand through my cheek. I rest my head in his hand. "I know you're sad, but…" His voice fades away and he looks away.

"But what?" I ask confused.

"Never mind..." he says and fakes a smile. "Let's go and eat breakfast, I'm hungry."

"I'm not…" I start to say, but Gale interrupts me slamming his lips against mine, they're warm and soft. "What was that?" I ask when he moves away.

"Come on, let's grab something to eat." He says evading my question.

We walk to the dining hall and eat in silence. When we're done with our breakfast, he tells me he has work to do, then, I go back to my room. When I get there, Prim's playing with Buttercup. She looks up and smiles at me, I fake the best smile I can; I can't afford myself to let her notice how wrecked I am, she doesn't need another worry. I sit in my bed and watch how she pets Buttercup, I think I'll never like that dumb cat.

"How are you?" She asks as she sits next to me.

"A little better" I lie and try to smile. "I just haven't accepted the fact that he's gone." I mutter.

"Do you miss him too much?"

I take a deep breath and nod; Why does everyone ask me this question? Of course I miss him. I'm not sure if I loved him, but he was important for me, I needed and still need him around. I feel how the tears struggle to come out; I hold them back, because of Prim. She hugs me and we stay quiet for a long time.

"Do you mind if I leave?" She still looks worried, I smile to calm her down "I told mom I'd help her at the nursery" She excuses "But I can stay here if you want me to."

"It's okay" I reply and smile weakly. "I'll be fine; maybe I'll go to talk with Finnick or for a walk."

"Okay." She hugs me before running out of the room.

I search between my stuff the pearl Peeta gave me at the beach. I stare at it. When he gave it to me he said that he'd always protect me. Guilt stabs me right in the guts, because I wasn't in time to save him. This pearl is the only thing I have left of him, and all the memories. I keep it in the pocket of my jacket. I'll protect it the way I should have protected Peeta.

God, I miss him, his strong arms holding me tight, the kisses, the way he made me feel… I need him, but what's more important… I love him, but I figured it out too late.

I lie down in my bed and stare at the ceiling. I don't want to be alone; I don't want to be locked up in here forever… I need to get out before I get drowned in the wave of insanity that is threatening to finish me.

I stand up and walk to Finnick's room. I knock.

"Who's there?" He asks.

"It's me." God, I feel so stupid, of course he will not recognize my voice. "Katniss."

"Come in!" He screams from the other side of the door.

I enter and he's lying down in his bed shirtless and with his arms crossed behind his head.

"To what do I owe the honor of your presence?" He asks teasingly and grins at me.

"I wanted to talk." I stand firmly. I do not want to tell him that I desperately needed someone to talk to and that he was the first person that came into my mind.

"Okay, so what do you want to talk about?" He's still grinning.

"Anything." I reply "How are you?"

"I'm fine. I'm the one who should be asking you." He gets out of the bed and walk towards me. He looks me in the eyes. "Have you been crying?" I ignore his question. He frowns and hugs me. "Do you want to go for a walk?" He asks smiling.

"Yeah, that would be great." I reply.

We sit in the same log as the day before. And talk about Peeta and Annie, when I ask him how their relationship is going his smile becomes a grimace of pain.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"We're not together anymore." He mutters bitterly.


	3. Chapter 3

**I think there's a lot of drama in this chapter; I promise the story won't be all about tragedy. Katniss and Finnick will begin to overcome their losses with the passing of time, just be patient.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. xo**

* * *

"What?! Why?!" I ask surprised. "I thought you were forever."

"I… I don't want to talk about it right now." he mutters and looks away.

"I'm sorry, Finnick." I whisper, he takes a deep breath and smiles; it is as if he had put on a mask or as he had lifted the wall that hides his emotions.

"I'll be fine." he says smiling.

"Promise me." I tell him.

"I'll be fine." He repeats. "I want to go swimming…"

"Then you should go swimming." I say smiling.

He gets up and walks towards the lake; he stops at the edge and looks at his reflection. I smile, run towards him and push him into the water; I laugh when I see his expression, he wasn't expecting that.

"That was very funny, Katniss." He complainsfrowning.

"Yeah, it was... I finally had my revenge" I say and smile playfully. He looks angry. God, did I screw up?

"Can you help me to get out?" He innocently asks. I know he'll try to drag me down, so I shake my head. "Okay, I can do it myself…" He mutters as he gets out of the water.

"I knew you could get out by yourself." I mock.

"Yes." He walks in my direction and opens his arms "Let me give you a warm hug." He says with a smile. I laugh and slowly walk backwards.

"No, thank you, I'm fine." I say grinning.

"Oh! Come on, Katniss!" He reaches my hand and pulls me close to him. He looks me in the eyes and flashes me with a seductive smile "Won't you let me hug you?" He whispers close to my lips. My heart starts racing, and my mouth suddenly feels dry; I step back and notice I was holding my breath. I shake my head.

"No." I say smiling.

"Okay…" He pouts and I laugh at his expression, he looks like a little boy. "Then, I won't." He lifts me on his arms and walks to the lake.

"Put me down!" I scream laughing.

"Okay." He agrees laughing too, then he drops me into the water. "You asked me to put you down." He shrugs and dives.

"I didn't tell you to drop me into the water." I grumble.

"You were not quite clear about that…" He replies with fake innocence.

I splash him, and smile. We swim and goof around the rest of the afternoon, and head back when the sun goes down. We eat dinner and then go to bed.

I lie down and smile at the ceiling. It feels good to smile again, the pain and the guilt are still inside of me, but in this moment I don't let them get to me. Maybe it's because I didn't think about them in the whole day, and Finnick was the one who helped me. I enjoy being with him, it's like he's kind of a super-glue that puts all my pieces together; and it's impossible not to have fun or smile when he's around, he makes me breathe and feel complete.

I spend the next two hours tossing in bed, I can't sleep, I don't know why… Even though I'm happy, I feel like if something were wrong… I get out of bed and walk along the halls, going nowhere. Maybe the confinement is ending my sanity. I look around and notice that my feet have just dragged me to Finnick's door; I knock without hesitating. Nobody answers; maybe he's asleep… Actually, the fact that I'm awake does not mean that he is. I turn around, and when I'm about to start walking away he opens the door.

"Katniss?" he asks. "What are you doing here?"

I don't know what to answer, I really didn't come here conscious. I stay quiet and look at him, he smiles, but despite that, he looks gaunt and his eyes are red and swollen… Has he been crying?

"Are you okay?" I ask worried. God, I feel so stupid, he told me he didn't want to talk about what happened with Annie, Why did I insist again?

He hesitates and doesn't say anything, after a few seconds he looks at me in the eyes and sighs as he shakes his head. I feel the need to hug him and tell him that everything will be okay, but I'm really not certain of that…

We sit in his bed and he stares at nothing.

"What's wrong?" I ask looking at him; it hurts to see him like that… I mean, he's always smiling, mocking at everything and strutting around… I've never seen him fall apart like that.

"Annie…" His voice cracks. "She…"

"What happened?"

"She… She killed herself." He mutters with his voice cracking.

The news leave me speechless. I hug him tightly, and once again I don't allow myself to tell him that everything will be okay, because we both know that's a lie.

"I'm sorry, Finnick…" Was that what he meant when he told me that they were not together anymore?

"I… I don't know why she did that… She didn't leave a note, she only left… She abandoned me…" He babbles.

I know exactly how it feels to lose the one you love… We're both wrecked up. We both lost someone we thought that would always be with us. I can bet none of us ever imagined this: Finnick losing Annie, and I losing Peeta.

"Would you spend the night here with me? I don't want to be alone…" He asks shyly.

I nod. I don't want to be alone, either or go to sleep just to have more nightmares about losing Peeta. I smile sadly when the memory of him telling me that his nightmares were about losing me comes to my mind; I'm in the same situation, except that I did lose him. I sigh. I can't allow myself to be depressed; I've got to focus on Finnick, he needs me.

I hug him again.

"We'll be together in this, like told me." I whisper and tighten my arms around him, like if I could reattach the pieces we broke into back together. "We'll get through this, it may be hard, but we'll make it, I promise."

He steps back and smiles crookedly at me.

"Whoa, Girl on Fire, you do know how to cheer someone up." He whispers mockingly, but still sad.

I snort; Finnick Odair is a complete mystery to me… One moment he's depressed as hell and a few seconds after he's mocking about everything; maybe he's as insane as I am… Anyway, I admire the way he covers up his pain.

"Yeah, I can also cheer you up by setting your butt on fire with my flames." I try to sound threatening while I say it, but instead of that, I sound like a pyromaniac psycho. We laugh.

"That would be awesome!" He jokes.

"Okay, let me go get my lighter."

"Oh God, what an honor, Katniss Everdeen is about to set my butt on fire."

"The pleasure is all mine."

We laugh and stare at each other. I look into his eyes; even though they reflect his sadness, they shine with his green-blued color as usual; I've got to admit that they're beautiful and sometimes they even leave me breathless, so does his crooked smile. He bends close to my face and smiles nervously. He touches my lips with his and then kisses me softly; I kiss him back, I feel his warm and soft lips against mine, and his sweet breath intoxicates me; my heart starts beating faster; I run my fingers through his cheeks and then through his hair. He wraps his arm around my waist, we both smile while we kiss. I can't think clearly, all I can think about is this moment and the feeling of his lips on mine.

We lean back, take a deep breath and look at each other. I don't know what that kiss meant but I regret nothing, maybe I'll do later, but right now, I don't.

Finnick stares at me and I hold back a smile, he opens his mouth as if he were about to say something, but he stays in silence.

"Whoa…" I rustle as I take a deep breath. Finnick looks at me like if I had just said the funniest joke he had ever heard.

"You've just had the best kiss of your life." He whispers in my ear. The sensation of his breath in my ears gives me chills.

"Do you call that a kiss?" I joke and cock an eyebrow.

"You've just lowered my self-esteem." He says offended.

We laugh and he kisses me sweetly.

"Better?" He asks.

"Better." I reply smiling.

I pull him close to me and kiss him again; we don't step back, just to catch our breaths.

We spend the night talking about our favorite things, our districts, family, everything that came to any of our minds until we fall asleep; we talked about everything, except about Peeta and Annie.

* * *

**I just wanted to thank you guys for your support and beautiful reviews, follows and favorites, but mostly for reading what I write. You make me immensely happy!**

**Tell me what you think about my story, if you want me to add something, if you like it or not... All suggestions are accepted!**

**THANK YOU FOR READING! xo**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, I don't really know what I think about this chapter, haha.**

**All I can say is that I've been babysitting my niece since yesterday and I'm a little tired, maybe that's one of the reasons this chapter isn't so good.**

**I'll try to update daily and maybe twice a day if I can.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! xo**

* * *

I wake up early in the morning lying in Finnick's bed; his arms are wrapped around my waist. I look at him and remember everything that happened last night. We kissed. Does it mean anything? I'm sure it doesn't… But, damn! Last night was perfect, I felt that someone finally understood how I feel; I could talk about my thoughts, my feelings, and worries. When I'm with Finnick I don't have to pretend anything… I'm just me.

"Are you awake?" He whispers in my ear and tightens his arms around my waist. I nod and turn around.

"Good morning." I say smiling.

"Good morning, Katniss." He replies and gently caresses my cheek. "Did you sleep well?" He asks grinning, like if he had his own inside joke.

"Yeah." I say smiling.

We get out of bed and when we're getting out of his room Gale walks in front of us. He frowns at me and walks away; the guilt stabs me right in the guts. What the hell was that?!

"Did you guys have a fight?" He asks confused.

"Not that I know…" I snort. "Let's go, I'm hungry."

We walk into the dining room and try not to think about what has just happened; I'll talk to Gale when I have a chance. We joke around while we eat our breakfast. This is what I like about my friendship with Finnick; we can behave like little kids and don't give a damn about anything.

When we finish our breakfast, I go to take a shower and when I'm done, I wander around the building. I decide to go talk to Gale. I walk to his room, knock and call his name. He takes his time to open the door.

"What is it, Katniss?" He frowns at me.

God, why is he so upset?

"I should be the one asking you…" I mutter.

"Don't you really know why I'm upset?" He frowns again.

"I don't." I reply.

He snorts and crosses his arms on his chest.

"Katniss… I love you." He clenches his eyes. "I love you more than I want to…"

"Gale…" I start to say, but he smashes his lips on mine. I can't do this. I don't want to hurt him anymore. My mind flies to Finnick. God, I'm so messed up. How could I kiss Finnick?! Anyway, I don't think it meant something to him, but… Did it mean something to me…? No, it didn't. Finnick's my friend, so does Gale; and I love Peeta. I need to keep him in my mind…

I sigh when he steps back.

"I can't do this, Gale…" I whisper.

"Why Katniss?" he asks frustrated "Is it because I'm not Peeta?!" He looks me in the eyes. He looks angry and hurt. "Or is it because I'm not Finnick?!"

He didn't say this. Crap, does he think I have something with Finnick?! The guilt stabs me one more time.

"Finnick is my friend!" I yell at him.

"Oh! I didn't know people could sleep with their friends!" He says with fake surprise and smiles bitterly.

"I didn't sleep with Finnick!" Well, I did spend the night with him and kissed him, but that was it.

"Don't be a liar, Katniss! I saw you both getting out from his room this morning!"

I gasp. How can he think this way about me?

"Well, if that's what you think… then, it's alright for me; I don't have anything to explain to you." I mutter. I feel the anger running through my veins and take a step away from him.

"If that's not what you did, then... What were you doing in his bedroom?" He asks with a grimace of pain.

I don't have to explain anything to him, but I don't want to hurt him, neither do I want him to think that I'm that easy to get.

"Last night I went to talk to him, and we spent the night together, but it's not what you think… We talked the whole night and then fell asleep. That's all." I mutter. He doesn't need to know that we kissed.

"Oh."

"Yeah, that's what happened." I mutter.

"I'm sorry, Catnip."

"It's okay."

He sighs and holds my chin, we stare into each other eyes, I can't bear breaking his heart, after all, he's my best friend. He kisses me and I kiss him back.

_I'm sorry, Peeta. _He's all I can think about. I should be kissing him right now, not Gale or Finnick.

"I've got to go." I say when Gale leans back.

Once more, I run to the woods. It's the only place where I feel less insane than usual.

I can't do this anymore. I hate pretending that I'm fine, it's killing me.

I sit down, lean back in a tree and stare at the sky. I miss Peeta, I need him. I miss how his strong arms around me ward off my nightmares.

My eyes burn because of the tears. I start crying, I let myself break down; I let out every strength I used to have… Peeta left and he took my strength and sanity with him.

I walk deeper into the forest, screaming his name and kicking anything that crosses in my path. I hate this. I trip into a log and hit my head with a rock, instead of standing up, I stay in the ground; I don't feel strong enough to lift.

_«Everything will be okay» _I lie to myself.

Nothing is or will be okay, Peeta's not here and he doesn't know I love him. My vision starts becoming blurry and dark. I fight the unconsciousness.

_"Katniss?" I hear a soft and beautiful voice calling my name, I try to answer, but my body doesn't work. I don't even know if it's real or not. "Katniss…" I hear it again._

_I open my eyes and Peeta is standing in front of me. _

_"Peeta!" I call him._

_"Katniss." My name sounds beautiful in his lips, with his angelical voice._

_He sits next to me and rests my head in his lap._

_"I've missed you." I tell him as tears stream down my face._

_"What do you mean?" He asks with a crooked smile and wipes my tears "I've always been with you. Don't you remember I told you that I will always protect you?"_

_He caresses my cheek, it doesn't feel real, but I don't care. He's here, with me._

_"Peeta, I've got something important to tell you…" I say holding back a smile._

_"What is it?" He asks with a smile._

_"I love you." I tell him as I softly kiss him. Once again, our kiss doesn't feel real; maybe it's too perfect to feel real. I feel his smile against my lips._

_"I love you too, Katniss." He tells me staring at my eyes. I smile at him._

_We sit on the ground and he holds me in his arms. I feel complete, I can finally breathe. He's next to me and nothing will tear us apart. I'm his and he's mine, nothing will ever change that._

_"I love you, Peeta." It feels so good to say it. "You make me complete." I say with a smile._

_He smiles and gently kisses me._

_"I love you more, Katniss. You can't imagine how much, neither how happy you've just made me." He says with a smile._

_We kiss for a long while, then lay in the ground and look at the sky. I feel safe in his arms._

_"Never leave me, please." I ask him looking at his beautiful deep-blue eyes. "I'm lost without you."_

_"I won't" He replies and tightens his arms around me. I lay my head down on his chest._

_"Promise?" I ask him._

_"Do you think I'd be stupid enough to let you walk out of my life?" He holds my chin and looks me at the eyes. We smile and kiss again. "I'm never letting you go, I promise." He promises as he kisses my forehead._

_"I love you." I tell him and close my eyes, he kisses my eyelids._

"Katniss!?" Someone yells my name.

I open my eyes and look around. Where's Peeta? I suddenly feel terrified. He told me he wouldn't leave me.

"PEETA?!" I yell ignoring the voice that's calling my name.

I feel the fear stabbing my heart; I can feel a lump on my throat.

"Peeta…" I weakly whisper. I fall into the ground. I can't bear being without him… I can't do this. My heart aches with every beat. He left.

"Katniss?!" The voice insists.

I turn around and it's Finnick. I take a deep breath and face him.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"I… I don't know." I mutter.

He gets closer and sits next to me. We stare at each other in silence.

"Have you seen Peeta?" I ask holding back my tears.

"Peeta?" He asks confused.

"Yes, Peeta." I feel my eyes burn. _«He's not here. He left you. You don't deserve him. » _the voices in my head mock at me.

"Katniss… Peeta's not here..." He says carefully.

"You're a liar!" I yell "He was with me a while ago!"

"Katniss… Peeta is dead."

"Liar!" I yell, stand up and run away as fast as I can. Finnick is lying. I start crying again. Peeta was next to me a while ago.

Finnick reaches me and holds my arm.

"I'm sorry, Katniss." He whispers.

"You're a liar." I mutter blinking away the tears in my eyes.

He hugs me tightly and kisses my head. We stand there in silence.

Reality slaps me in the face. It was all an hallucination. Peeta's gone. He wasn't here; it was my mind playing its dirty tricks.

"I want to go back home…" I mutter.

I miss my district, I miss my old life... I miss how everything was before the games.

Finnick sighs and takes my hand. We head back to the main building and he walks with me to my room. I invite him in, because I don't want to be alone.

We sit in my bed and stay silent.

"I… I'm sorry for calling you a liar." I say as I blush stupidly.

"It's okay, don't worry." He replies smiling.

"How did you find me?" I ask.

"Prim and your mom asked me if I hadn't seen you, and I guessed you were in the woods. Of course, I was right, as always." He says with a crooked grin.

There he goes again. I smile.

"Thank you…" I whisper.

He hugs me tight.

"Things will get better." He says as he kisses my forehead "We'll get through all of this."

"Thank you, Finnick" I repeat.

"No, Katniss… Thank you." He whispers and looks me in the eyes.

He slowly leans close to my face. His lips slowly touch mine and then we kiss sweetly, he holds my waist and I run my hands through his hair.

He softly leans me in the bed and lays next to me. He grins at me and caresses my cheek. I smile, rest my head in his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

"Katniss..." He starts to say, but his voice fades.

"What is it?" I ask smiling.

"Never mind." He grins and kisses me again, sweetly.

He runs his hand along my back and keeps kissing me. His lips are soft, warm and gentle.

Someone opens the door and I suddenly feel how they pull Finnick away from me.

* * *

**That's it for this chapter!**

**I just wanted to thank you again for your support: Thank you for your beautiful reviews, follows, favorites, for reading, but firstly: Thank you for your support! I'm immensely grateful!**

**You asked me to make each chapter a little longer, but, as I told you I'm a little tired, but I swear I'll try my best to make them a little longer! :)**

**As always, I'm open to suggestions.**

**THANK YOU AGAIN! xo**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for taking so long to update! I'm on finals week, so I haven't had a lot of time to write.**

**I know I told you that I'd try to update daily or twice a week. I'm really trying as hard as I can to update asap and also make the chapters last a little longer.**

**I think this isn't the best I've written, but I hope you like it!**

* * *

It's Gale.

He punches Finnick in the face and Finnick hits him back.

"What the hell?!" I yell.

"That's what I should be asking!" Gale yells at me as he punches Finnick again.

"Don't talk to her like that!" Finnick yells and punches Gale.

"Stop!" I scream and step between both of them.

Gale frowns at me and leaves.

"Are you ok?" I ask Finnick and help him sit in my bed.

"He's an asshole…" He mutters. I notice that his lip is bleeding.

"Do you want me to go get some ice?" I ask panicked.

"No, I'm okay." He replies smiling.

"Are you sure? You're bleeding."

"I'm not going to die because a little of blood…" He replies laughing and lays in my bed.

"Okay…" I mutter as I sit next to him.

"Now is the moment when you rip your shirt off to wipe my blood…" He whispers in my ear. "Or is it the other way around?"

I softly wipe his blood with his shirt, then I kiss him.

"I should let your boyfriend punch me more often." He whispers and smiles against my lips.

I lean back.

"He's not my boyfriend." I mutter annoyed. "Why would you do that anyway?!"

"For you to take care of me." He grins and cocks an eyebrow.

"If you're really injured, I should take you to the nursery." I mutter.

"I'm fine." He smiles seductively "I'll be fine as long as you take care of me."

"Is Finnick Odair asking me to take care of him?" I say with mock surprise.

"Yeah." He mutters as he kisses me.

This time, he kisses me harder, like if he needed me. He brings me closer to his body and wraps his arms around my waist. I sit in his lap as he slowly kisses my neck.

I pull him close to me and kiss him, he bites my bottom lip and I smile. I get goosebumps and my heart starts beating frenetically.

_«What about Peeta? » _I ask to myself. I can't do this.

I lean back and catch my breath.

"I'm sorry Finnick." I whisper as I sit on the other edge of the bed.

"No, I'm sorry." He says as he sits next to me and runs his fingers along my jawline.

I sigh. What's happening to me? What's going on with Finnick? I'm scared to figure out what it is, plus: How can I ask him what does all this mean to him if I don't have the littlest idea of what it means to me? All I know is that his presence keeps me sane; he makes me feel alive, less numb. I also like talking to him, I feel empathic, I mean, we're going through the same kind of things…

"Katniss, come back." He says looking me in the eyes.

"Sorry." I mutter.

"Why are you apologizing?" He asks laughing.

"I don't know." I reply holding back a smile.

He smiles and we sit in silence. He sighs.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I think you should go talk to Gale." He mutters.

"Do you think he'll want to talk to me?" I sigh.

"He's your friend. And he's in love with you… If I was him, I'd rather keep you as a friend than losing you." He replies and smiles at me.

"I'm not sure… He looked pretty angry."

"Of course he did!" he grins "He's jealous. He thinks I'm stealing his girl."

"Okay…" I mutter "You should get a little ice for that eye…" I blush.

"I thought you were going to take care of me…" He pouches.

"I think you're old enough to take care of yourself." I reply as I stand up.

He lies down, crosses his arms behind his head and smiles seductively.

"I'll be waiting right here for you."

"What if my mom or Prim come back?" I ask.

"Then, I'll be in my room." He replies laughing.

"Okay."

I walk towards Gale's room and stop when I'm in front of his door. I hesitate for a moment and then knock.

He opens the door and his expression hardens when he sees me.

"What are you doing here?" He asks annoyed.

"I came to talk." I reply.

"You mean that you came to lie to my face one more time." he says as he laughs bitterly. "You know, Katniss… I'm not your toy."

His words cut me like a knife.

"I'm sorry, Gale."

"Sorry about what?" Now he's really angry "Are you sorry for telling me that there was nothing between Finnick and you? Or you're sorry for breaking my heart one more time?" he sighs "I'm tired of this little game, Katniss."

"Gale…"

"I love you Katniss, but I don't know what to expect…"

"I don't have a relationship with Finnick, he's my friend." I interrupt him frustrated.

"Then, why were you kissing him?" he asks looking me at the eyes.

"I… I don't know!" I reply and look away.

"You don't know?" he asks "What does that even mean?"

"I don't know." I repeat.

"Does that mean I have a chance?" he asks holding me by the chin and staring at my eyes.

I don't reply. I just look him in the eyes.

I don't want to break his heart anymore; neither do I want to lose him.

He smiles and kisses me. His lips are warm and soft, as always, but they're not Peeta's lips or Finnick's.

_«Finnick?! »_ my inner voice yells at me_ «Why heaven on earth are you thinking about Finnick?! »_

"I love you, Katniss." Gale whispers against my lips.

I hesitate and kiss him back. _«Don't break his heart anymore. Tell him what he wants to hear. »_

He leans back and looks at me, like if he were expecting something. I stay silent.

He sighs and walks away.

_«Don't be stupid, Katniss… You'll lose him, just like you did with Peeta. » «What if you do love him? »_

I know I'm only lying to myself. I love Peeta, not Gale; but I can't afford myself to lose my best friend.

I run after him and grab him by his arm.

"I love you too, Gale." I say as I kiss him.

He leans back and looks me in the eyes, his grey eyes shine as he smiles.

"You do?" He asks smiling.

"I love you, Gale." I lie.

A battle rages within me. _«Liar. » «You told him what he wanted to hear, after all. » «You'll only hurt him more than you have done. »«You don't deserve him. »_

I try to ignore the voices inside my head and smile back at him.

"Do you mean it?" He smiles.

"Yeah, it's just that… I didn't knew how to tell you…" I lie.

He kisses me again.

"Let's go hunting." He says smiling.

"Hunting?" I ask excited "Can we go hunting?"

"Yeah, we're allowed." He smiles "So… We're going?"

"You had me at the moment you said hunting."

I forget about everything at the moment he hands me a bow. Including the fact that I left Finnick waiting for me.

* * *

**That's it for this chapter!**

**Thank you for all of your support!**

**I just want to ask you two little things: Are you liking the story? Would you like a chapter with Finnick's POV?**

**Once more: Thank you for your reviews, follows, favorites and for reading what I write. It means a lot.**


	6. Chapter 6 (FINNICK'S POV)

**I don't know what to think about this... I think I actually liked it, although it's not the best. haha**

**What I tried to do in this chapter was explaining Finnick's personality, I mean, the way he hides all his pain.**

**If you don't like the idea of Finnick's POV, you can skip the chapter, it doesn't affect the story.**

**Anyway, I hope you like it. xo**

* * *

Lately, I've been feeling different. I'm feeling alive, even though sometimes I still feel dead inside.

Annie's death destroyed me, it smashed every single desire to live I had. Of course, nobody knows that, except for one person who may suspect it: Katniss; no matter how hard I try to hide what I feel, she finds a way to break into my mind and figure out what I'm going through, I've got to admit that a half of me dislikes it, because it makes me feel vulnerable and frustrated whenever she does it, while the other half likes it, because keeping the façade of the charming, cocky and unbreakable Finnick is kind of tiring.

I'm in Katniss' room; we're laying in her bed, kissing, when suddenly Gale breaks in and pulls me away from her. Crap. Things have just got real.

He punches me in the face, so I hit him back as hard as I can.

"What the hell?!" Katniss yells.

"That's what I should be asking!" Gale yells at her.

He didn't do that… I feel the anger running through my veins and I punch him in the jaw.

"Don't talk to her like that!" I yell.

"Stop!" She screams and steps between both of us.

Gale frowns, pushes me away and leaves.

"Are you ok?" Katniss asks as she helps me to sit in her bed.

My lip stains, but I ignore it.

"He's an asshole…" I mutter holding back a smile.

"Do you want me to go get some ice?" She asks.

"No, I'm okay." I reply smiling.

"Are you sure? You're bleeding."

I hold back a smile

"I'm not going to die because a little of blood…" I reply laughing and lay in her bed.

"Okay…" She mutters as she sits next to me.

"Now is the moment when you rip your shirt off to wipe my blood…" I whisper seductively in her ear "Or is it the other way around?"

She gently wipes the blood off my lip with my shirt and kisses me.

"I should let your boyfriend punch me more often." I whisper and smile against her lips.

I know I screwed it up by saying that when I look at her expression.

"He's not my boyfriend." She mutters. "Why would you do that anyway?!"

"For you to take care of me." I smile innocently and cock an eyebrow.

"If you're really injured, I should take you to the nursery." She mutters.

"I'm fine." I smile seductively "I'll be fine as long as you take care of me."

"Is Finnick Odair asking me to take care of him?" She asks.

"Yeah." I mutter as I kiss her hard.

I pull her closer to my body and wrap tightly my arms around her waist, I feel her warmth against me and for some strange reason, it makes me feel complete.

She sits in my lap as I slowly kiss her neck, she pulls me back to her lips and I bite her bottom lip. Suddenly she leans back and we catch our breath

"I'm sorry Finnick." She whispers as she sits on other edge of the bed.

_«No! »_ My subconscious yells. I need her next to me, but I won't make her stay by my side if she doesn't want to.

"No, I'm sorry." I sit next to her and run my fingers along her jawline. She loses herself in her thoughts "Katniss, come back." I mutter looking her in the eyes. They're grey and shine beautifully under the light.

"Sorry." She replies.

"Why are you apologizing?" I ask laughing nervously.

"I don't know."

I should let her go and talk to Gale, as much as I don't want to let her walk away from me. _«Stop it Finnick. »_ I sigh.

"What is it?" She asks

"I think you should go talk to Gale." I mutter.

"Do you think he'll want to talk to me?" She sighs.

How can she ask that? Isn't it obvious?

"He's your friend. And he's in love with you… If I was him, I'd rather keep you as a friend than losing you." I reply and smile at her.

"I'm not sure… He looked pretty angry."

"Of course he did!" I grin "He's jealous. He thinks I'm stealing his girl."

"Okay…" She agrees "You should get a little ice for that eye…" She blushes.

I like it when she blushes.

"I thought you were going to take care of me…" I pouch.

"I think you're old enough to take care of yourself." She replies as she stands up.

I lay down on her bed and cross my arms behind my head.

"I'll be waiting right here for you." I mutter seductively.

"What if my mom or Prim come back?" She asks.

Crap! I forgot that she's living with her mom and sister.

"Then, I'll be in my room." I reply laughing nervously.

"Okay." She says before leaving.

As soon as she leaves, my body starts aching. I get out of her bed and walk to my room.

What is going on with me? What is she doing to me? Why do I want to bring down the wall that hides my feelings when I'm with her?

Maybe this is what a real friendship is like. Having no secrets, telling everything to each other…

But, what's with the need of being around her and the feeling of emptiness I get whenever I'm away from her? Perhaps it's because I can talk to her about anything.

I lay in my bed.

I used to feel this way with Annie, but with her was different, she was my girlfriend. Of course it was different.

Annie… I haven't thought about her in the whole day…

I still don't know why the hell she did that… What about all of our plans?... What about me?

My eyes start to burn. I can't cry. I won't cry.

I try to think about something else, but nothing comes to my mind. Right now, she's all that's in my head.

I think about all the times we kissed, all the moments we were together, and every single time I told her that everything would be okay. Nothing was completely okay, but… Things were better… I was better.

I hear Annie's voice calling my name.

I need to get her out of my mind. I need to stop thinking about her. At least, until it doesn't hurt as much as it does right now.

I kick a shelf.

I continue kicking everything that's in my way, until I get tired.

I lay in my bed, clench my eyes and cover my ears.

_«Where's Katniss?» _That's all I can think about. She's taking too long to come. I need her to calm me down.

* * *

**That's it for this chapter!(:**

**Please tell me if you're liking the story or if you think there's a lack of something.**

**And, as always I want to thank you for all of your support!**

**OH! And I almost forgot to tell you: We're only a few chapters away until they start planning the first attack to the Capitol!**


	7. Chapter 7

**So, a few of you've told me that you don't like the Gale/Katniss thing, It's definitely not going to last long, I promise; maybe three or four chapters more, (and they won't be all about both of them) Also, there's going to be a LOT of Finnick. I'll be describing how he starts growing feelings for Katniss and stuff like that.**  
**I don't think this chapter is the best I've written; in fact, I think I don't even like it, so maybe I'll edit it later...**  
**Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.**

******Oh! And excuse the length of this chapter, I wrote a longer one, but my laptop ran out of battery and I didn't save the document, so I had to start fresh. :(**

* * *

At the moment we head back underground, we take our catch to the kitchen, which is the condition to let us hunt: everything we shoot is for food.

When we're done at the kitchen I run towards Finnick's room and knock. He doesn't open.

"Finnick?" I call his name as I knock again.

The door is unlocked, so I open and enter his room. This is when my heart breaks.

He's lying in his bed, holding his knees. There's a mess all over the floor.

"What happened?" I ask panicked.

"I… Annie." he babbles looking at nowhere.

"Finnick." I call him "Finnick, look at me." I say as I look him in the eyes.

"Katniss… I…" He starts to say, but I put my finger on his lips.

"Everything will be okay. I'm here." I say as I hold him tightly.

"I'm sorry." He whispers as he takes a deep breath.

"Don't be." I tell him smiling. "Let's go grab something to eat, maybe it'll make you feel better." I say laughing.

We go to the dining hall and eat dinner. Gale looks at us from the other side of the room.

"So, what happened with lover boy?" he mocks.

"I'm not sure" I reply trying to avoid his question. I don't want to have second thoughts about what I did earlier.

"Oh, okay." He laughs. "I'm pretty sure you told him that you're madly in love with me." He whispers seductively.

I blush.

"Yeah, Of course I did." I joke.

"The Girl on Fire is in love with me? I'm flattered." He mocks.

We laugh and finish our dinner, then go to bed.

When I get to my room, Prim and my mom stare at me and smile.

"What's going on?" I ask confused.

"Don't act like you don't know what's going on, Katniss!" Prim says smiling.

"Seriously, what am I missing?" I insist.

"We know about Gale and you." Prim says with a wide smile.

She's happier than I am. I don't even know if my reaction is normal. I smile.

"Oh."

"Aren't you supposed to be happy?" Prim asks.

"I'm happy, it's just that I'm a little tired." I mutter as I get in my bed.

"I'll let you sleep, then." She says "But you've got to tell me everything in the morning!"

"I will." I promise.

I cover my face with the blanket and close my eyes. My mind flies to Peeta. I imagine that he's with me, holding me in his arms, making me feel stronger.

God, I've never thought that I'd miss someone the way I'm missing him. I feel the pain and guilt stabbing me in the heart. I try to think about happy stuff, but I can't get him out of my mind…

I close my eyes, and try to sleep, but it doesn't work; I keep tossing in bed until I resign to the fact that I need someone to talk to, and that someone is Finnick Odair.

I get out of bed and walk towards his room, and after a while of battle with myself, I knock.

"Finnick?" I call him.

He takes a while to open.

"Hi, Katniss" he looks surprised to see me. His hair is disheveled, and he looks kind of drowsy.

"Did I wake you up?" I ask surprised. "I can come back later…" I mutter ashamed.

"No, it's okay." He says smiling "What's happening? Do you want to come in?"

"Can we sit here?" I ask. "The closure is ending my sanity."

"Okay" He agrees.

We sit in the floor and when I tell him what happened with Gale, his expression hardens and all he says is "Whoa."

"Do you think I screwed it up?" I ask.

"It depends, did you mean it when you told him that you love him?"

God, I don't even know that… Maybe I do or maybe I don't… I can try to love Gale, he's kind and sweet, maybe it's easier than I think, and I'll try my best to love him back.

"I'm confused…" I admit.

"So… Why did you tell him that you loved him if you're not sure about your feelings? Or is it because you still loving Peeta?" He asks.

"I… I don't know… It's just that… I hate to keep breaking his heart. I just want him to be happy."

"But, don't you think that you'll hurt him worse if things don't go as you expect them to?"

He's right.

"I'll try my best to make him as happy as I can." I mutter.

"Well, I wish you luck…" He says as he yawns.

"Thank you." I say smiling "Do you want me to leave for you to get some sleep?"

He smiles and shrugs. I decide to go back to bed, because I'm starting to feel sleepy.

"Good night, Finnick." I say as I get up.

"Good night, Katniss." He replies as he enters his room.

I walk back to my room and get into bed. I'd say that my soul is in peace, but actually, it isn't… I'm thinking about what Finnick asked me: «But, don't you think that you'll hurt him worse if things don't go as you expect? »I hadn't thought about that.

I close my eyes and fall asleep. Fortunately, I don't dream about anything, or at least I don't remember what I dreamt about when I wake up.

When I wake up Gale's sitting on the edge of my bed smiling at me.

"What?" I mutter when I see him smile.

"You said my name while you were sleeping." He replies smiling.

"I did?" I ask.

"Yeah." He smiles and kisses me softly. "Good morning, Catnip."

I smile and kiss him back. Maybe falling in love with him won't be hard at all.

"Morning, Gale."

* * *

**That's it for this chapter!**

**I really hope you're liking the story if you're not, I'd love you to tell me why****, so I can add or remove something. Thank you for reading, reviewing, and following!**

**Seriously guys, If I tried to tell you how grateful I am at you, I'd never finish!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm sorry for taking too long to update! I had a lot of stuff to do today.**

**I really don't like the chapters which are only about Gale and Katniss; it's hard for me to write them, because I actually don't ship them, haha. **

**I'm also sorry for the lack of Finnick in this chapter; the next one might be Finnick's POV.**

**So, today wasn't my day and I was a little depressed, but I swear to you guys that after seeing how many favorites and follows my story has, and reading all of your reviews and private messages lit up my day and made me immensely happy!**

**I adore you! Thank you for all of your support!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter**

* * *

We eat breakfast and then go to the woods, he sets a few traps and we shoot a deer.

While we wait for any animal to get caught by the traps, we sit on the ground. He kisses me softly.

"So…" He mutters.

"What?" I ask smiling.

"I couldn't stop thinking about what you told me and about us the whole night… and I…" He blushes but he looks at me serious "I want you to be my girlfriend." He smiles and looks me in the eyes.

His question leaves me speechless, I just smile.

"What do you think?" He asks serious.

"Yes." I reply smiling.

He smiles and kisses me softly, we kiss for a while. I don't know if this is right, all I know is that I'll try as hard as I can to make Gale happy.

"I love you, Catnip." He says when he leans back.

"I love you too." I say with a lump in my throat. I'm confused, I don't know if this is becoming easier or harder, I mean, Gale is my best friend… Okay, scratch that… He's my boyfriend, and I've met him for a long time, we think alike and we've shared a lot of things, and I'm not lying when I tell him I love him, because I do, maybe it's not the way he wants me to, but I really do.

He caresses my cheek and kisses me again. He smiles at me when he leans back.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks smiling.

"I was thinking about us." I reply.

He smiles and kisses my forehead.

"We should get going." He says smiling.

We collect our prey and take it to the kitchen, when we're done we sit in the hall where his room is. We stay silent; we just smile and stare at each other.

"So, now you're Finnick's best friend?" He asks.

"Yeah, I'd say so." I reply smiling.

"How did that happen?" He asks.

"I guess we understand each other and feel kind of empathic…" He lost Annie and I lost Peeta, I hesitate about telling this to Gale, he'd probably go insanely jealous, so I shut up.

"Oh." He mutters "Katniss… If…" He sighs "I just want you to know that if you ever need anything, I'm here for you. I'll always be, no matter what it is." He says looking me in the eyes.

"Thank you." I reply smiling and hold his hand.

He presses his forehead against mine and smiles. We stare into each other's eyes. His grey eyes shine beautifully. He looks happy, and seeing him this way makes me happy too. Right now, that's all that I care about: Making Gale happy.

I rest my head on his arm.

"May I ask you something?" he asks "You don't have to answer if you don't want to…"

I nod.

"Do you miss him?" he asks nervously "You don't have to answer if you don't want to…"

Another one who asks me the same question...

"Peeta?" I ask and stare at nothing.

"Yeah…" He replies.

I hesitate. Of course I miss Peeta! I don't know how to reply to his question, neither if my answer will hurt him… I can't tell Gale that every day I wish Peeta was here to hold me, kiss me and make my nightmares go away… Obviously, I can't tell that to Gale.

I nod and his expression hardens.

"I should've not asked that… It was stupid." He mutters.

Maybe it wasn't stupid at all. I answered honestly, and I guess now he knows what to expect from me.

"I'm sorry, Gale." I mutter.

"Sorry about what, Katniss?" He asks with a smile.

"About everything, I mean… For every single time I've hurt you." I mutter ashamed.

"Katniss…" He holds me by the chin and looks me in the eyes "It doesn't matter, we're together in this, I won't put pressure on you, I'll help you to get through all of this. I promise." He smiles "But I won't let you go." He whispers and kisses me softly.

I hear footsteps, so when Gale leans back I turn around. It's Finnick; when he walks in front of us he smiles and winks at me, then he gives Gale a thumb up and walks away.

I laugh.

"What the hell was that?" Gale asks frowning.

"I don't know." I say holding back a smile. "Maybe it was Finnick being nice."

"Okay…" he mutters.

"You don't like him." I say.

Of course, he doesn't like Finnick; if I were Gale I wouldn't like either anyone who had kissed my girlfriend.

"I don't hate him, but I don't like him either…" He frowns.

I wonder if he's going to get madly jealous whenever I spend time with Finnick, the probabilities are high.

"Let's have a date." He says smiling.

"A date? Where? Why?" I ask smiling too.

"You'll see." He replies excited "I'll see you here in 15 minutes." He kisses my forehead and runs away.

I smile, sit in the ground and wait for Gale to come back; when he does he's carrying a bag. I don't have the smallest idea of what's inside it. He covers my eyes and leads me God knows where…

When I open my eyes I notice we're in the forest, there's a blanket on the ground with the bag over it.

"What is this?" I ask smiling.

"We're having a picnic." He replies smiling.

I kiss him softly and hug him tight.

"Whoa." I whisper.

"It's not perfect, actually, it was improvised… But it's the thought that counts." He whispers before kissing me.

"It's perfect." I tell him smiling.

How can he be this cute? I feel happy but guilty at the same time, he's willing to help me to get through everything that's happening, and he's proving that he loves me… Though I'm still confused about my feelings.

But who knows? Maybe I'll fall in love with him sooner than I expect.

We sit on the floor and eat, then we lay and he holds me in his arms.

"I love you, Katniss." He whispers on my ear before kissing me.


	9. Chapter 9 (FINNICK'S POV)

**This chapter is from Finnick's POV, and unlike the previous this one is actually important, because it explains the cause of Finnick's behavior in the subsequent chapters.**

**I've got to admit that I actually liked this chapter, it's not my favorite, but I'm pleased with it.**

**So... I haven't explained what happened with Annie, Peeta and the other victors because everything will be eventually explained; I just need you to be patient.**

**I really hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did while I was writing it.**

* * *

**Finnick's POV.**

I'm in the dining room with Katniss, we're eating dinner and Gale is staring at us with a scowl. For some reason, I feel satisfied when I see him frowning.

"So, what happened with lover boy?" I mock.

"I'm not sure" She avoids my question.

"Oh, okay." I glance at Gale and laugh. "I'm pretty sure you told him that you're madly in love with me." I whisper seductively and grin. Katniss blushes.

"Yeah, Of course I did." She replies laughing.

For some reason, my heart skips a beat when she says that. I try to ignore the feeling and continue talking as if nothing happened.

"The Girl on Fire is in love with me? I'm flattered." I mock.

We laugh and eat. I feel Gale's gaze, so I look at him and smile mockingly, he just frowns and leaves. After we're done with our dinner we go to bed.

I walk to my room with a smile of satisfaction, I don't know why, but when I chuckle when I remember Gale's reaction when he gazed at Katniss and me while we were taking dinner. He's completely jealous, though he shouldn't, Katniss is just my friend. We're just friends.

I get rid of my shirt and get in bed, why did I felt _that _way when Katniss joked about telling Gale she was in love with me? The mere thought of Katniss telling that to Gale makes me smile, but at the moment I imagine the expression Gale would make I chuckle. He'd probably punch me.

I shake my head.

What's wrong with me? Katniss is my friend. She's just my friend, nothing else. We've only got each other. Well… I've only got her; she's got her family and Gale… I've got to admit that I feel a pinch of jealously when I think about the fact that she's got Gale; maybe because it'd be easier for her to forget about me while she's with him… Who would I talk to? Who would understand me when I get down? She's the only person I've got right now who is going through the same crap I am…

_«Stop it, Finnick. » _I tell myself when I find myself what would I do if Katniss stopped talking and hanging out with me.

Why do I care so much about her? Why do I forget about every single problem I have when she's near me? Why do I feel so vulnerable, but happy at the same time when I'm around her? There's just one obviously answer…

My thoughts are starting to annoy me. _«It's impossible »_ I growl to myself. _«It can't be» _I insist.

I try to put my mind in blank and close my eyes.

I fall asleep faster than I expected.

* * *

_I am not certain about where I am; it looks a lot like District Four, the sea, the people... But it doesn't feel real._

_I'm wandering along the beach until I spot a familiar silhouette siting in the sand, looking at the sea. It's a woman. I walk towards her and stand behind her. I think she has already noticed me._

_"This is beautiful." Katniss says with a note of excitement on her voice._

_"I'm sure it is." I whisper as I sit next to her._

_"Seriously, it's so quiet, and the sea results completely pleasant." She smiles at me._

_We sit in silence and watch the sunset._

_"Peeta would love to see this…" She sadly smiles. I only look at her; I hate to see her sad, I wish I could erase all the pain from our lives. "His favorite color was this kind of orange." She explains and points at the sky. "But I'm glad that I'm here with you." She says smiling at me._

_I remember when we were at the arena, sitting on the beach; I think I saw Peeta looking marveled at the sunset, but I'm not quite sure._

_I think about Annie; we used to sit in the sand and watch the sunset and sometimes the dawn. I try not to get sad at the memory. I can't do anything to bring her back; all I can do is keeping her in my heart and mind, she'll always be with me._

_I know time will heal my wounds, and by the other hand, there's Katniss. She has helped me a lot, even though she's going through the same kind of things… Her presence keeps me sane, I'm myself when I'm around her, and she makes me feel less numb… Putting it out on other words, she makes me feel alive and hopeful._

_Can this be possible?_

_I hold back a smile when the thought comes to my mind._

_We stare at each other's eyes and smile._

_"Can I say something crazy?" I ask nervously._

_"What is it?" She smiles._

_"I think that…" I start to say, but I get a lump of nerves on my throat._

_"What?" She insists._

_"I think that I'm in love with you…" I whisper softly._

_She stays silent._

_The nerves take possession of my mind and body, so I start hyperventilating._

_Crap. I've just screwed up everything. Crap! Crap! Crap!_

_She kisses me softly and smiles when we lean back._

_"So…?" I ask nervously._

_"Is Finnick Odair in love with me?" She whispers the question in my ear with mock surprise._

_I get goosebumps when I feel her breath caressing my skin. How does she do that?_

_"Yeah, I think that I'm in love with you, Girl on Fire." I reply with a crooked smile and look her in the eyes._

_"Hmm…" she mutters. "May I say something crazy too?" She asks smiling._

_"Go ahead." I say impatiently._

_"I might love you too." She whispers._

_I smile and pull her close to me; I look her in the eyes and smile. I softly kiss her jawline and then her lips._

_We stay in the beach until the sky darkens completely._

* * *

I wake up with her name on my tongue and a smile on my lips. After a while I frown.

Is it possible to fall in love with someone this fast?

I snort and rub my eyes when I notice that I may be right and that I may have grown feelings for her.

"I'm in love with Katniss Everdeen…" I mutter to myself.

My heart races when I say her name, and I feel a warm sensation running through my body.

I battle myself when I think about telling her. Who knows how she'll react…?

She might just freak out and never talk to me again. I won't tell her until the right time comes.

A half of me wants to tell her, just to know if she feels the same way.

It'd sound like: "Hey Katniss, even though I don't want to accept it and I'm confused and everything, I think I'm in love with you… Do you love me back?"

I need to go back to sleep. I snort and yawn.

I close my eyes and put my mind on blank.

It's been just like 15 since I fell asleep when someone wakes me up knocking the door.

I growl, cover my face with the pillow and try to go back to sleep.

"Finnick?" Katniss calls my name.

My heart races and I hesitate about opening the door.

"Hi, Katniss." I say smiling and try to hide that I'm happy that she came to see me.

"Did I wake you up?" She asks. "I can come back later…" She mutters and blushes.

"No, it's okay." I reply and smile. Now that she's here, I don't want her to leave. "What's happening? Do you want to come in?"

"Can we sit here?" She asks. "The closure is ending my sanity."

"Okay" I agree.

We sit in the floor and my heart aches when she tells me what happened.

She told Gale that she loves him.

I don't know what to say or what to do. I feel how my heart aches with every beat… No. My heart is not the only thing that aches; my whole body is in pain and so do my feelings.

I want to punch myself, the wall, anything that walks in my way. I but I'd die to punch Gale right now. I try to keep calm and smile at her.

"Do you think I screwed it up?" She asks.

"It depends… Did you mean it when you told him that you love him?" I ask hopefully.

"I'm confused…" She replies.

Is it because she still loves Peeta? I could get used to it… I still love Annie too. We could get through it together…

_«Stop it, Odair. » _I command to myself.

"So… Why did you tell him that you loved him if you're not sure about your feelings? Or is it because you still loving Peeta?" I ask with a trace of hope.

"I… I don't know… It's just that… I hate to keep breaking his heart. I just want him to be happy." She replies.

"But, don't you think that you'll hurt him worse if things don't go as you expect them to?" I ask.

"I'll try my best to make him as happy as I can." She mutters.

Her words give me hope, but still hurt me.

_«Conceal it! »_ I yell at myself.

"Well, I wish you luck…" I mutter yawning and trying to look unconcerned.

"Thank you." She says smiling "Do you want me to leave for you to get some sleep?" She asks.

I don't want her to leave, I want her to stay the night with me, but instead of saying anything, I grin and shrug.

"Good night, Finnick." She says as she gets up.

"Good night, Katniss." I reply as I get back into my room.

I let myself fall into my bed.

All of this is wrong... What about Annie? She can't be replaced. I still miss her... I feel guilty and angry at myself, for not thinking about her. Right now, I'd seriously pay someone to punch me as hard as possible.

I won't let it get to me, I won't let her know, I'll forget about everything that happened tonight.

Perhaps this feeling might be fleeting; it'll disappear as soon as it came... Maybe I'm confused and misunderstanding everything.

_«That's what you get when you let your heart control you. » _A voice in my head mocks at me.

I tighten my fists.

It's surprising how fast my mood changed: I've got to admit that I was feeling happy, but at the same time guilty, like if I was doing something wrong and I also felt kind of confused then I suddenly I felt jealous and angry.

* * *

**That's it for this chapter!**

**I want to thank your for all of your reviews, messages and for following and favoriting my story. Seriously, you can't imagine how happy you make me.**

**I adore every single one of you!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Guys! I'm so sorry for taking too long to update; I'm grounded and I'm not supposed to use my computer, but I promise that I'll try to update whenever I'm able to! **

**I'm not in love with this chapter, because I really don't like the Gale and Katniss stuff, but I hope you like it! (And I think that it needs to be edited...)**

**Sorry for the lack of Finnick!**

* * *

When we head back from the forest we walk along the halls until we stop in front of his room.

He smiles nervously and then kisses me.

"Do you want to stay the night?" He asks a few millimeters away from my lips.

What is that supposed to mean? I look him straight in the eye. I'm not conscious about my expression, but it seems like something about it made him laugh.

"I'm not ready to let you go yet …" He says and kisses my forehead

I exhale; I hadn't noticed that I was holding my breath…

Gale smiles and holds my hand; we walk towards his bed and I sit on the edge, while he walks around the room.

"Katniss, I really love you... More than I ever thought I would." He says as he stands in front of me, presses his forehead against mine and kisses me.

I don't know why but, my mind flies to Peeta.

"I love you too." I whisper weakly.

He smiles and sits next to me; we stare into each other's eyes for a while. His grey eyes shine so bright, he looks happy, I'm making him happy. I smile at him.

He kisses me and softly leans me in the bed; then, _he lies on top of me_, balancing himself so I don't take all of his weigh.

He softly kisses my jawline and then my neck. I feel my heart thumping on my chest. He kisses my lips and runs his hand along my waist; I get goosebumps when he gets his hand under my shirt and runs his index finger along my backbone.

I kiss him and wrap my arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer to me. He kisses me harder and presses his body against mine.

My mind is cloudy and I can't think clearly.

Gale kisses my neck and softly bites me. I pull his face close to mine and kiss him; he bites my bottom lip and smiles.

He turns and makes me lie over him. I softly kiss his neck and then his lips.

He runs his finger under my shirt along my back and finds the hook of my bra. He stops and looks me in the eyes.

I can't do this. I can't do this to Peeta, he loved me and I love him…

I lean back. What the hell have I done?

"I'm sorry, Gale…" I mutter.

"No, I'm sorry…" He says staring at my eyes.

I sigh and kiss his cheek.

"I'm not ready yet…" I whisper as I stand up and step back from his bed.

I blush when I think about what has just happened. I feel angry at myself. I didn't think about Peeta!

_«You're so selfish! » _My inner voice yells at me.

Gale sits on his bed, stares at me and reaches for my hand.

"Please don't leave; I got caught up by the moment." He whispers.

"You mean 'we'." I mutter holding back a smile.

"It won't happen again." He mutters as he kisses my hand.

I take a deep breath and sit next to him.

"Come here…" He lies on the bed and pulls me closer.

I lie next to him and rest my head on his chest. We talk about how much we miss District twelve and about the things that made it special. I'm starting to feel homesick, scratch that, I started to feel homesick at the moment I stepped into the arena, knowing that probably I'd give my life to save Peeta… I can't get him out of my head… I clench my eyes and try to think about something else. Gale and I talk about everything that makes us happy and everything we like, he tries to keep my mind busy so I don't think about Peeta. We fall asleep after a while.

* * *

_"Katniss…" A soft voice calls my name._

_I look around me, I'm on the jungle. I don't see anyone. _

_"Katniss!" The voice insists and sounds louder, it sounds like if someone's screaming my name._

_I look around me one more time. My mind clicks. I'm back on the arena. It's the Quarter Quell. Something doesn't feel right…_

_Peeta. Where's Peeta? I've got to find him. _

_I run trying to follow the voice._

_"Peeta!" I yell his name. I feel a stab of panic and run faster. "Peeta!" I insist._

_When I find him, he's on the floor and covered in blood._

_"Peeta!" I yell as I lay next to his body "Peeta, look at me!" I know that it's too late._

_I keep yelling his name._

_I cry and kiss his forehead._

_"Peeta…" I mutter. _

_My eyes burn because of the tears, I want to punch myself._

_"Katniss…" The voice insists._

* * *

I wake up crying and screaming Peeta's name.

Gale tries to hug me, but I push him away. I instantly regret doing that when I see his expression: He looks sad and worried.

"I'm sorry." I mutter wiping my tears.

"It's okay…" He says faking a smile.

"Do you mind if I go to my room? I need to take a bath and stuff like that…" I need to get out of here; I can't let him see how I breakdown every time I have a nightmare.

"Okay… See you at the dining hall to have breakfast together?" He asks smiling weakly.

"Yeah…" I reply as I leave.

I let my thoughts take possession of me while I walk towards my room.

I miss Peeta… I wish he was here holding me, kissing me, walking and talking with me… I wish I could tell him that I love him and that I need him.

When I get to my room I take out from my pocket the pearl Peeta gave me and smile at it, like if it were him. Tears start streaming down my face. I hold it close to my heart, kiss it and then put it back into my pocket. I take a deep breath and go to take a bath.

I meet with Gale at the dining room and we sit together to eat breakfast.

I spot Finnick at the other edge of the room, I smile at him and he smiles back at me.

Gale frowns when notices that Finnick's walking towards us.

"Is he going to sit with us?" He asks scowling.

"Do you mind?" I ask in response.

"Yes, kind of…" He mutters.

Finnick sits next to Gale and gives him a friendly punch in the arm. Gale frowns at him.

"So you guys…" Finnick starts to say grinning "Tell me, how was last night?"

"What?" I ask.

"Oh, come on, Girl on Fire! Both of you know what I'm talking about!" He says laughing.

"Shut up." Gale tells him serious.

Gale looks angry and Finnick seems to enjoy it.

"Oh come on! Was it good?" He laughs cockily.

Does he think that I slept with Gale?

"What are you talking about?" I ask annoyed.

"Oh, Girl on Fire! I'm talking about that this morning, I saw you leaving your man's room and you didn't even say hi to me!" He says with mock offense.

Indeed, he thinks that I slept with Gale.

"We didn't do _it_." Gale says annoyed.

"Oh, what a shame." Finnick says laughing and looks at me.

What's wrong with him?

"Are you done with mocking at us?" I ask annoyed.

Finnick smiles seductively.

"I wasn't mocking at you…" He whispers and winks at me.

"Go away." Gale tells him. He's definitely angry.

"Oh, but we were having so much fun… Weren't we, Girl on Fire?" He smiles seductively at me.

"I mean it, Odair." Gale mutters angrily.

I snort. Finnick doesn't use to behave like this; he's cocky, but never annoying.

"Oh, call me whenever you're in the mood to have a little fun…" He says with a grin before leaving.

We stay quiet when he's finally gone.

"What's wrong with that moron?" Gale asks angry.

"I don't know… He's not like that…" I mutter confused

We finish our breakfast in silence.

I can't stop wondering why the hell Finnick acted like that…

When I get back to my room he's standing out, next to the door.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"I came to talk to you..." Finnick mutters looking at the ground.

* * *

**That's it for this chapter, I hope you've enjoyed it!**

**As always, I want to thank you for all of your reviews, follows, favorites and also messages! **

**You can't imagine how happy you make me!**

**Guys, I was wondering if you'd like this chapter from Finnick's POV while I finish writing the next one, because it's taking me longer than I expected...**


	11. Chapter 11

**Guys, I'm so sorry for taking this long to update! I've been busy as hell and I kind of had a fight with myself about the story. (I have the whole idea developed, this chapter was supposed to be about how they plan the first attack to the capitol, but I decided to postpone it for a little...)**

**I'm not in love with this chapter, and I think I could've written a better one; but as I've just told you: I've been kind of busy, but I tried my best.**

**I hope you enjoy it! xo**

* * *

"Talk about what?" I ask him "You came to mock at me again?"

"No, I'm sorry about that…" He looks me in the eyes and sighs "I just wanted to talk about my…"

"Am I interrupting something?" Gale asks as he softly kisses my cheek.

"Yes, you are…" Finnick mutters and rolls his eyes.

Gale stands next to me and ignores Finnick.

"Katniss may I talk to you in private?" Finnick asks me with a grimace.

"Does my presence bother you?" Gale asks him.

"Yeah, kind of…" Finnick replies scowling.

"Oh, I'm so sorry… but your presence also bothers me." Gale tells him.

"Okay, stop it!" I interrupt them annoyed. "Gale, I'm going to talk with him."

Gale frowns at me but doesn't complain.

"Let's go." Finnick mutters. He smiles crookedly and holds me softly by the arm.

I look back at Gale while I walk, he's frowning and doesn't look happy; I swore that I'd try to make him happy, but it didn't include staying away from Finnick, he's my friend and we need each other, or at least… I need him.

"Where are we going?" I ask smiling.

"We're getting out of here… I'm starting to lose it." He replies smiling back at me.

I walk next to him and we go to the surface, I have to admit that living underground is not my thing and it's making me lose my sanity too.

"Do you want to go swimming?" He asks.

"Nah, I'm fine." I reply smiling.

"Oh, come on!" He pouches.

"That's not going to work with me…" I mutter, but he's already carrying me on his shoulder and running through the forest.

I snort when I notice that he's heading towards the lake and that he's probably going to throw me into it. But he doesn't, he just stands at the edge.

He smiles as he softly leaves me back into the ground.

"Are you sure you don't want to swim?" He asks with an innocent smile.

"Yeah." I reply.

"Well… What a shame." He whispers on my ear before pushing me into the water.

I growl at the moment I sink into the water, and when I come out of it, I notice that Finnick's not standing where he was before. I sigh and plunge into the water.

"Where do you think you're going?" He seductively whispers on my ear, stepping up behind me and wrapping his strong arms around my waist.

I get goosebumps, but I ignore the feeling and start running my fingers through his arms. My heart starts beating fast. I try to think clearly. We came here to talk; he wanted to talk to me.

"You wanted to talk to me…" I say breathing heavily and trying to make my voice sound normal "Let's talk."

"Let's swim for a while, and then we'll talk." He whispers on my ear and then makes me turn around. "Are you okay with it?"

I feel my heart beating so hard that I'd swear that it'd come out through my throat, so I don't say anything, I just nod.

Finnick smiles and looks me in the eyes as pulls me closer to him. Our lips are just a few millimeters away. I smile and stare at his beautiful sea-green eyes.

He softly runs his fingers along my jawline.

"Katniss…" He whispers my name before he softly kisses my lips. His lips feel warm and soft; I let him introduce his tongue in my mouth, his breath tastes sweet and intoxicates me. He runs his fingers along my backbone as he keeps kissing me.

I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back. I feel his warm body against mine; feeling his warmth makes me feel complete.

We lean back to breathe and then kiss again; I run my fingers through his soft curly golden-bronze hair and feel him smile against my lips.

I know that this is completely wrong and that I'll break Gale's heart if he finds out, but I just can't stop… I want to be with Finnick, I can't be away from him.

What the hell am I saying? I'm surely going insane.

I've got to think about Gale, I might not love him the way he wants me to, but I promised myself that I would try.

"Finnick…" I whisper as I lean back. "I can't do this…"

We stare into each other's eyes, he looks disappointed and kind of... sad? But it's just for a few seconds, because when I blink and look back at him again his expression has changed. He's smiling.

"Okay, it's time to talk." He mutters.

"I thought that you wanted to swim…" I say.

"No… I… I really need to talk to you." He replies.

"Okay."

We walk out of the lake and sit our log.

"What did you want to talk about?" I ask smiling.

He stands up and walks in circles for a few minutes, it looks like if he were battling himself or something like that.

I sigh and play with my fingers until Finnick stands in front of me.

"Okay, I don't know how to tell you this without it sounding wrong…" He mutters nervously.

"What's happening?" I ask confused.

"I want to talk to you about my behavior this morning…" He replies.

"Okay, tell me, why did you behave like a jerk?" I ask.

"As I said, this morning I saw you walking out from Gale's room…" He says nervous and sits next to me "And I… I got jealous, okay?" he snorts and covers his face with his hands.

Why would he get jealous?

"Jealous?" I ask confused.

"Yeah…" He replies looking me in the eyes.

"Why?" I insist.

"I don't know… Well I do, but… Katniss…" He babbles "I like who I am when I'm with you, you make all the pain go away, I forget about everything when we're together… I'm not sure about what I feel right now, maybe I'm confused because of all the stuff that has been happening lately… But I know for sure that I want a chance, I want to be with you, Girl on Fire…" he whispers with a crooked smile.

My mouth widens in surprise.

What? Is he telling me that he thinks he's in love with me? He can't be. He loves Annie and I love Peeta, besides I have Gale.

We stay in silence for a long while.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" He asks quietly.

"I…" I don't know what to say, neither what to think…

I my heart races when the thought of having a relationship with Finnick comes to my mind.

I shake my head. It won't happen. It's not possible.

"You don't have to say anything." He mutters and holds my hand.

I slap his hand away.

"I… I have to go." I mutter and runaway.

I look back and Finnick's still sitting on the tree log, staring at me, he looks hurt and I immediately feel guilty, but I can't go back. I need to get as far as possible from him.

I run deeper into the forest and climb a tree, then sit on a branch and sigh. I feel the need to go back to Finnick and apologize, but I resist. I need to think.

What's going on with me? Why did I react like this? Why did I picture us together?

I sigh and close my eyes.

I'm with Gale; I can't afford to think about being with Finnick.

* * *

**That's it for this chapter! I hope you enjoyed it.**

**As I always do, I want to thank you all for your reviews, follows and favorites.**

**Tell me if you like the story, and if you don't, I'd love to know why!**

**Thank you for all of your support, I adore you. xo**

**P.S.**

**I might upload another chapter later!**


	12. Chapter 12 (FINNICK'S POV)

**So, today I'm updating twice because I want to make up for not updating in the past days, plus you deserve it.**

**This chapter is about Finnick describing why and how he decided to tell Katniss about his feelings for her. (In other words: I put together the last two chapters but from Finnick's POV)**

**I hope you enjoy it. xo**

* * *

**Finnick's POV.**

I wake up with a smile; it's been the first time in a while that I hadn't woke up at the middle of the night because of my nightmares. Indeed, I didn't dream about anything.

I remember my first days on District 13. All I did during those days was cry and wander half-naked along the halls. I get chills and try to keep these thoughts away from my mind.

Annie wouldn't want me to be depressed…

I get out of bed, take a bath and walk along the halls. This lock-in is making me lose my sanity.

I find myself in the hall where Gale's room is located, Katniss is leaving it and when she walks next to me she doesn't even bother to say hi.

Did she sleep with Gale? Are they going that serious?

I sigh. I care about Katniss more than I should…

I keep wandering around until my stomach growls, it's time for breakfast.

I spot Katniss at the moment I enter the dining hall, she's sitting with her boyfriend. I feel how jealousy stabs me in the guts. I stare at them, wishing I could be in Gale's place.

Katniss looks up and stares back at me. She smiles.

_«STOP IT, ODAIR! » _My inner voice yells at me. _«She doesn't care about you»_

I'm the one she runs to whenever she needs someone to talk to… She comes to me, instead of Gale; that's a good thing, right?

I snort when I remember what I saw a few minutes ago: Katniss leaving Gale's room.

I find myself walking towards them; I sit next to Gale and smile when I see his expression, he looks pissed.

"So you guys…" I say grinning "Tell me, how was last night?"

"What?" Katniss asks.

"Oh, come on, Girl on Fire! Both of you know what I'm talking about!" I reply laughing.

"Shut up." Gale says annoyed. I smile pleased when I see his scowl "Oh come on! Was it good?" I laugh cockily.

They look annoyed.

"What are you talking about?" Katniss asks annoyed.

Does this mean that she didn't sleep with him?

"Oh, Girl on Fire! I'm talking about that this morning, I saw you leaving your man's room and you didn't even say hi to me!" I reply with mock offense.

"We didn't do _it_." Gale says annoyed.

My soul rests when he says that. But still, I want to make him upset.

"Oh, what a shame." I say laughing and look at Katniss.

What's happening to me? Why am I so upset about their relationship? It isn't any of my business…

"Are you done with mocking at us?" Katniss asks annoyed.

I smile seductively.

"I wasn't mocking at you…" I whisper and wink at her.

"Go away." Gale mutters.

"Oh, but we were having so much fun… Weren't we, Girl on Fire?" I smile seductively at Katniss.

"I mean it, Odair." Gale mutters angrily.

"Oh, call me whenever you're in the mood to have a little fun…" I say with a grin before leaving.

What the heck is wrong with me?! She's never going to talk to me again! Crap. I behaved like a moron.

I walk towards Katniss room and sit on the ground. I'm going to wait for her to come back and then I'll apologize.

It was stupid to let jealousy take control of me.

I really need to apologize… But what am I going to tell her? I'm not quite sure about my feelings… I'm sure that I want to be with her and be happy; besides, she makes me feel alive.

I'll tell her. I'm not sure about how, but I will.

I stand up when I see her across the hall.

"What are you doing here?" She asks.

"I came to talk to you..." I mutter looking at the ground.

"Talk about what?" She asks "You came to mock at me again?"

"No, I'm sorry about that…" I look her in the eyes and sigh "I just wanted to talk about my…"

"Am I interrupting something?" Gale asks and kisses Katniss' cheek.

"Yes, you are…" I mutter and roll my eyes.

"Katniss may I talk to you in private?" I ask her.

"Does my presence bother you?" Gale asks me.

"Yeah, kind of…" I reply scowling.

"Oh, I'm so sorry… but your presence also bothers me." Gale says.

"Okay, stop it!" She interrupts us. "Gale, I'm going to talk with him."

We frown at her.

"Let's go." I mutter. I smile and gently hold her arm.

"Where are we going?" She asks smiling.

"We're getting out of here… I'm starting to lose it." I reply smiling at her "Do you want to go swimming?"

"Nah, I'm fine." She replies smiling.

"Oh, come on!" I pouch.

"That's not going to work with me…" She mutters.

I ignore her and carry her on my shoulder. I head to the lake and stand next to it.

I smile and softly leave her back into the ground.

"Are you sure you don't want to swim?" I ask smiling.

"Yeah." She replies.

"Well… What a shame." I whisper on her ear before pushing her into the water

I smile and dive in. I stand up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.

"Where do you think you're going?" I whisper on her ear.

"You wanted to talk to me…" She replies "Let's talk."

I notice that she's breathing heavily.

"Let's swim for a while, and then we'll talk." I whisper on her ear and make her turn around. "Are you okay with it?"

She nods.

I smile and stare at her shiny gray eyes. I pull her closer to me. Our lips are almost touching. I can feel my heart beating faster. She smiles and looks me in the eyes.

I run my fingers along her jawline and stare at her lips.

I can't handle this.

"Katniss…" Her name caresses my lips. I kiss her, softly and slowly. I feel her soft lips against mine and her tongue in my mouth. She wraps her arms around my neck and I smile as I kiss her.

"Finnick…" She whispers as she leans back. "I can't do this…"

We stare into each other's eyes. I can't do this anymore. I need to tell her, I need her to know what I feel when I'm around her.

"Okay, it's time to talk." I mutter.

"I thought that you wanted to swim…" She says.

"No… I… I really need to talk to you." I mutter nervously.

"Okay."

We walk out of the lake and sit on a log.

"What did you want to talk about?" She asks smiling.

I stand up and wander in circles.

What am I going to tell her? How? She's probably going to freak out and never talk to me again, but… What if she doesn't? What if there's a small probability of her loving me back? I'm scared, but I'm willing to risk it all.

I stand in front of her.

"Okay, I don't know how to tell you this without it sounding wrong…" I mutter nervously.

"What's happening?" She asks.

"I want to talk to you about my behavior this morning…" I reply.

"Okay, tell me, why did you behave like a jerk?" She asks smiling.

"As I said, this morning I saw you walking out from Gale's room…" I babble "And I… I got jealous, okay?" I snort and cover my face with my hands.

Crap. I'm about to screw up everything

"Jealous?" She asks.

"Yeah…" I reply as I stare into her eyes.

"Why?"

Here I go…

"I don't know… Well I do, but… Katniss…" I babble "I like who I am when I'm with you, you make all the pain go away, I forget about everything when we're together… I'm not sure about what I feel right now, maybe I'm confused because of all the stuff that has been happening lately… But I know for sure that I want a chance, I want to be with you, Girl on Fire…" I whisper smiling.

We stay quiet for a while. That's when I notice that I've just screwed up everything.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" I ask nervously.

"I…" She mutters.

"You don't have to say anything." I mutter and hold her hand.

My heart shrinks when she slaps my hand away

"I… I have to go." She mutters as she runs deeper into the forest.

I can't move. I just stare at her while she leaves. My heart aches with every beat.

What have I done?! This is so wrong…

_«Conceal it. » _I tell to myself. I won't let this get to me. I'll pretend like nothing of this happened…

I was an asshole just by thinking that she might love me back… She loves Peeta and has a relationship with Gale.

Well… I have Annie. She's always with me…

I don't know what I'm feeling right now… It's like a combination of sadness, anger, guilt and impotence.

I can't keep doing this, I feel like if I were cheating on Annie… But, she left without caring about me. She didn't think about how much I would miss her...

When my body finally responds, I stand up and kick the log as hard as I can. I'd rather feel physical pain instead of mental…

I resist the urge to go and look for Katniss. I'll give her space, if that's what she wants. And I'll give myself a break.

Who am I trying to fool?! I need her… After all, she's the only one in this place who understands me.

I walk back to my room and lay on my bed until I fall asleep.

I'm emotionless.

Tonight I dream that I'm back in District 4 with Katniss… And I've got to say that we look pretty happy.

* * *

**I wanna thank you guys for your support! You can't imagine how happy you make me!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I don't know what I think about this chapter. A half of me likes it, but the other hates it...**

**I've been really busy; I have to study a lot for my tests, so I haven't had enough time to write.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

I can't believe what Finnick has just told me… Well, I don't want to believe it. He told me he loved me, or at least that's what I think he meant…

I didn't know what to say, I just ran away. I must say that I wasn't expecting it and I feel awful for reacting the way I did; but I freaked out… I just never thought that this would happen…

The sun is going down. I've been sitting on the same tree branch for more than three hours; I know that I should start heading back, but I'm not ready to face Finnick or Gale.

I sigh and climb down; I wander around the forest for about an hour and then head back. I walk to my room looking at the ground and ignoring the people I walk by.

When I get to my room I lie in my bed and look at the ceiling. Prim walks into the room. She says hi to me and lies next to me.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"Nothing, sweetie. I'm a little tired; I went for a walk to the forest." I reply and caress her hair.

"Are you sure?" She insists.

"Yeah. How was your day?" I ask her.

"It was okay." She replies smiling "I went to school and then helped mom at the nursery."

School… I've been skipping it since the day I arrived.

The people at District Thirteen welcomed us with open arms; they're providing us food, school and employment, also a room and a bed. They're being really nice.

"What about you?" She asks.

I hesitate. I think about telling her what happened to Finnick, but I don't. She doesn't need to know.

"Finnick and I went for a walk to the forest." I reply faking a smile.

"Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah…" I reply.

"I miss home." She mutters sadly.

I sigh.

"I miss home too…" I reply.

My mind flies to the memory of the last time I was at District twelve… It was just a few days after I arrived to District Thirteen. I wanted to go. Just to make sure that I could trust Plutarch and the rest of the rebels. I get chills when I remember the white rose I found at my house.

"You should come to the forest with me…" I say smiling.

"We're not going to hunt, aren't we?" She asks terrified.

"Yeah, you need to know how to properly shoot an arrow at a deer." I tease her.

"Katniss!" She exclaims.

"It was a joke, Prim." I tell her smiling.

"Okay, I'll go." She agrees.

She tells me about the things that she learned today at school and we fall asleep after a while.

* * *

It's been a week since Finnick told me that he is in love with me and I must say that things have changed a lot since that day. He does not talk to me anymore; he acts like if nothing had happened. He ignores me and avoids looking back at me when we walk by each other's side. He looks hurt. I know I screwed it up and I really want to apologize, but I don't have enough courage to look at him. Gale's asked me what happened that day at the woods, but I change the subject every time he asks. I'm not going to tell him, I don't want to cause more trouble.

Lately, I've been feeling a little depressed. I'm homesick and I've been having nightmares about infinite ways of losing Peeta, Prim, Mom, Gale and Finnick. I need someone to talk to. And I don't think that telling Gale about my nightmares is a good idea, neither is talking to him about Finnick or Peeta, he'd get insanely jealous and I hate when he does that.

I'm surprised when I notice where my feet dragged me. I knock.

Haymitch opens the door.

"To what do I honor the pleasure of your visit, Sweetheart?" He asks grinning. His breath smells of alcohol. He's been drinking, as usual.

"I need someone to talk to…" I mutter.

He invites me in and asks me to take a seat. I do as he says.

"Do you want something to drink?" He asks giggling.

I remember the first time I got drunk. I was at Haymitch's house, before the reaping for The Quarter Quell. I sigh.

"Yeah…" I reply.

He hands me a glass of whiskey and I drink it at once.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" He asks serious as he pours more whiskey into my glass.

"I feel so… I don't know how to describe it…" I mutter.

"Fucked up?" He asks giggling.

"Yeah, that's close to it." I mutter.

One more time, I drink the whiskey at once. Haymitch cocks both eyebrows in surprise.

"Do you want the whole bottle?" He asks grinning.

I hesitate. He hands it to me.

"Thank you…" I whisper.

I start drinking it; I dislike taste of whiskey, my throat burns with every sip. I ignore it and continue drinking.

"You're planning to get drunk, huh?" It sounds more like an affirmation than a question.

"Maybe." I reply.

"Well, Sweetheart… Tell me, what's been going on lately?" He asks.

"I'm homesick." I reply with my lips against the bottle.

"That's it?" He asks.

I'm starting to get a little dizzy and my mind is starting to get cloudy. I growl when I notice that there's no more whiskey left in the bottle.

"No, it's just that… I miss Peeta, you know..." I feel a lump on my throat. "And things are starting to get messed up." I stare at the empty bottle. "May I have a little more?"

He snorts and hands me another bottle. I drink it faster than the previous one.

"What's going on?" He insists.

"I miss Peeta…"

"I know there's something else that bothers you…" He interrupts me.

I stare confused at him and stay quiet for a while.

"I… I told Gale that I love him…" Tears start streaming down my face.

I ask Haymitch for more alcohol, he hesitates.

"Katniss, are you okay?" He asks concerned.

I feel how the alcohol starts to make effect, I feel dopey, plus my vision is turning blurry.

"No. I'm not." I reply clenching my eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asks and hands me another bottle.

I drink it as fast as I did with the previous one. I feel the need to talk to Haymitch about everything that has been going on.

"I miss Peeta…"I repeat "I figured out that I love him… It was a few weeks ago." My eyes burn because of the tears that I'm holding back "I figured it out too late" I mutter "You were right, I didn't deserve him…" I sigh.

Haymitch stays silent. I keep drinking until there's nothing left in the bottle. Haymitch asks me if I want more, I nod and he hands me another one.

"I'm getting tired of this, you know?" I laugh bitterly "Love makes us do stupid things."

Haymitch stares at me.

"I told Gale that I love him…" I repeat.

"You do?" He asks. "I mean, do you love him?"

"I do, but not in the way he wants me to, I love him as my friend or like a brother; though I promised to myself that I'd try to love him the way he wants me to. I swore that I'll try to make him happy…" I mutter.

"What about you?" He asks "You also deserve to be happy…"

I snort. I don't deserve happiness. I've countlessly hurt the ones I love. I deserve to be punished.

"Screw my happiness." I mutter "I don't deserve it."

"Everyone deserves to be happy." Haymitch mutters "An unhappy person refuses to be happy…"

I sigh. I can't think clearly. My unhappiness is the consequence of everything that I've done; I've hurt people… And what's worse: People have died for and because of me.

"I don't know what to do…" I whisper "I just want to run away and forget about everything… I want to stop hurting people… That's what sickens me the most."

He sighs and sits next to me.

"Take it out…" He says. "Keeping it all to yourself will only make you feel worse."

"Finnick told me that he might be in love with me…" I mutter.

"Whoa…" He whispers surprised "And what did you tell him?"

"I ran away." I sigh "He hasn't talked to me since that day. I miss talking to him… When I'm with him, the pain goes away… Well, it used to." I try to fight the tears that are struggling to come out. "He told me that he likes who he is when he's around me. I feel the same: he makes me feel alive, he makes me smile…" I babble "He told me that he wanted to be with me… Maybe I want to be with him too… " My heart races. I frown. "But I screwed it up..." I laugh bitterly "And what about Gale? I can't dump him just because of Finnick."

The alcohol has taken control over my brain and mouth.

Haymitch stares at me; he's holding back a smile.

"What is it?" I ask "Do you find funny what I'm saying?"

"Did you hear what you've just said?" He asks giggling stupidly.

"What did I say?" I ask confused.

"Never mind." He replies "Then… What are you going to do?"

"About what?" I ask confused.

My mind's a mess. I'm a mess.

"About Finnick and Gale…" He replies "You don't have to be with Gale if you don't love him, that'll only hurt both of you… Think about Peeta, he would want you to be happy."

I get a lump in my throat when he mentions Peeta. I start crying.

"I miss him, Haymitch." I sob.

"I miss him too, Sweetheart." He whispers "He was a good boy, kind and caring. He didn't deserve to die…"

His words feel like a punch in the guts. I cry for a long while and then fall asleep.

I wake up lying in Haymitch's bed. He's snoring asleep in a chair.

My head aches like hell and I feel weak. It's because of the hangover.

I get out of his room and walk to mine. Mom and Prim are asleep, I try to walk to my bed as silent as I can, but I trip over Buttercup.

"Goddamned cat." I mutter.

I snort when I noticed that I woke them up.

"I'm sorry. Go back to sleep…" I whisper as walk to my bed.

"Where have you been?" mom asks.

"I was with Haymitch." I reply lying on my bed.

"Have you been drinking?" She asks pissed.

"Maybe. A little." I reply covering my face with the pillow. I go back to sleep. I'm tired.

I wake up when I hear someone knocking on the door. I growl and get out of bed.

My mouth widens in surprise when I see him standing there. He's serious, but he doesn't look angry. I want him to hold me tight in his arms; I need to feel his warmth… I want to feel complete again.

But I know that the last thing he wants to do is hug me.

"Finnick… Wh-What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I want to talk to you." He mutters.

My heart races and I take a deep breath. What does he want to talk about?

* * *

**That's it for this chapter!**

**Thank you for all of your support! You can't imagine how happy you make me. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Guys, I'm so sorry for not updating! I've been busy and I had a few personal problems; so I haven't had time neither did I was in the mood to write.**

**I didn't like this chapter a lot, It could've been better... But anyway, I hope you like it!**

* * *

Did he come to talk about what happened last week on the woods? My head aches, maybe it's because of the hangover… My heart thumps against my chest, I can barely breathe.

"Talk about what?" I ask.

"We're needed in Command" He mutters.

"Oh…" I mutter in response.

It was dumb to believe that I'm the reason of his presence.

I walk next to him. He's serious, inexpressive…

I want to apologize for the way I reacted, but I'm not ready to talk about what happened. I wouldn't know what to say and I'd probably end running away one more time…

"So, how've you been?" He asks.

"Hmm…"_Missing you_ "I'm fine, thanks. What about you?"

"Fine." He replies, still inexpressive.

I sigh. How much will this last? It's been a week and it's affected me more than I could ever imagine… Am I going to be strong enough to stand one more week?

Finnick looks at me.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks.

"I… I was wondering why they need us." I babble.

"You accepted to be the Mockingjay, remember?" He mutters.

"Yeah..." I reply "Finnick, I… I want to…" I babble.

"What is it?" He asks.

"Never mind." I reply and look at my feet.

We stay silent until we get to Command.

"Right after you…" He says.

"Thank you." I mutter.

This place still looks like the first time I was here… Screens, tridimensional maps…

My head aches one more time.

I spot Plutarch and Fulvia, his assistant, walking towards me.

"Hello, Katniss. I'm glad you're here." He says smiling.

I fake the best of my smiles.

"Hello, Plutarch." I mutter.

The room is not as crowded as it always is; there are just a few soldiers, Plutarch, Fulvia, Finnick and I.

The room turns silent at the moment Coin enters the room, in a matter of seconds everyone's assembled and coin starts talking about all the other victors who were captured at the Capitol and asks if anyone has a plan to get them out, everyone starts muttering to each other.

I try to stay focused on what's happening but my headache only gets worse. I clench my eyes and massage my temples.

"Are you okay?" Gale whispers and holds my hand. When did he get here?

"Yeah…" I mutter.

I look around; everyone is having their own discussions. I don't know when I lost track of the conversation. My heart jumps and I gasp when someone mentions Peeta.

The flashbacks start to flow: The first time I saw him, the time he saved my life by giving me burnt bread, the reaping day, our first games… The moment Finnick told me he died because they couldn't get him out of the arena on time…

My heart thumps against my chest, I start hyperventilating and I feel like if my head were about to explode… I need to get out of here.

I stand up and run out of the room, I wind up in the abandoned air duct where I used to hide and sleep during my first days on District Thirteen. I know I can't keep running away, not now that I have convinced them that my mental health has improved, but I can't help it, I'm terrified about being medicated again.

I wonder if there's someone out there looking for me; the probabilities of them finding me are almost inexistent. After a while, I curl up and fall asleep.

I wake up and walk back to my room; I sit on the edge of my bed and sigh.

I need to apologize to Finnick; I can't wait for the right moment anymore, because if I do, I might lose him forever and it terrifies me.

I walk to his room and hesitate before knocking and calling his name; he doesn't answer, so I knock again.

"He's not here, Sweetheart." Haymitch mutters chuckling.

"Do you know where is him?" I ask.

"He's heading to The Capitol." He replies.

I gasp.

"Wh-what?!" I babble "Why?"

"They volunteered to rescue Johana and Enobaria." He replies.

"They?" I ask, even though I know who else volunteered. "Gale…"

"Yes." He replies.

"Haymitch, do you have some extra alcohol?" I ask.

The first time I got drunk I promised that I'd never drink again, plus I hate the taste and effects of alcohol. But right now, it doesn't matter, I need it.

"Oooh, I wonder what you will confess this time!" He chuckles.

"What?" I ask confused.

_"He makes me feel alive, he makes me smile"_ He says making an imitation of my voice.

"When did I say that?" I ask confused.

"Last night, you started spitting out all of your secrets." He replies giggling stupidly.

"That's not true." I mutter.

"You did." He insists. He looks serious, maybe there's a small probability that he's telling me the truth… If I did say that, I can't let him talk.

I feel the anger running through my veins. I push Haymitch against the wall.

"Don't you dare to tell Finnick or Gale anything about it." I mutter threateningly.

"Easy, Sweetheart…" He says holding back a smile. "Come on, let's take a few drinks."

I step back and walk next to him.

"Haymitch… Isn't the alcohol forbidden here?" I mutter when we get to his room, there are empty bottles everywhere.

"Yeah." He replies smiling.

I don't say anything about it. I just sit on the floor and he hands me a bottle.

"Why don't you tell Finnick and Gale the truth?" He asks.

"Truth?" I ask in response.

"Yeah, why don't you tell Gale that you are in love with Finnick?" He insists.

"I'm not in love with Finnick." I reply "He's my friend, I just like to spend time with him. He's the kind of person whose presence makes you feel better."

"Come on, Katniss." He snorts "Just listen to what you're saying."

I sigh and keep drinking.

"Can I have a little more?" I ask.

"Yeah." He hands me three bottles "Are these enough?"

"I guess so." I mutter.

"So, what is the plan?" He asks.

"What plan?"

I finish the bottle at once. I feel the alcohol burning down my throat and the tingle in my veins.

"Yeah… You told Gale that you're in love with him, but what about Finnick?" He insists.

"I don't know…" I reply.

I finish the three bottles of whiskey that Haymitch gave me in a matter of minutes. I feel how my head starts spinning and how my thoughts start to tangle.

"You know, Gale's jealous about Finnick and me." I mutter giggling stupidly.

"Why?" He asks as he finishes his glass of whiskey.

"He caught us kissing and then he punched Finnick…" I mutter "But that was before I told him that I love him."

"Kissing? Oh, come on Katniss." He snorts "You might not love Finnick, but I know that at least you like him."

"Like him?" I ask confused and grab another bottle.

"Yes." He replies.

"I like Finnick…" It sounds more like an affirmation than a question.

"You do?" He asks.

"I don't know." I reply.

We stay in silence and I finish one more bottle.

"Do you want another one?" He asks.

"No, thanks." I babble.

My head's spinning and I feel like if I stood up I'd fall on my face.

We babble nonsense things until we fall asleep.

Someone wakes me up by knocking on the door. I grab the bottle that's next to me, it's half empty; I drink the whole content of it and grab another one that's almost empty.

My head's still spinning. I look at the little clock that's placed next to Haymitch's bed, we fell asleep for less than an hour… I wake up, walk clumsily towards the door and open it.

My heart races when I see him standing there.

"Hey…" I mutter giggling.

"Here you are…" Finnick mutters.

"Did you miss me?" I ask grinning.

"Katniss…" He looks at the bottle on my hand "Have you been drinking?"

"Yup. A little. Maybe." I babble.

"Come on, let's get you out of here." He mutters and tries to take away my bottle.

"No. Let me finish it, you can't waste stuff here, remember?" I mutter giggling as I get the bottle close to my lips.

He snatches away the bottle and throws it to the ground.

"I can't let anyone see you like this…" He mutters.

He lifts me off the ground and carries me all the way to his room on his shoulder.

"You need to sleep." He whispers as he sweetly lays me on his bed.

His gesture makes my heart race. He still cares about me. I need to apologize for being a jerk.

"I'm sorry, Finnick." I mutter with tears streaming down my face.

"Hush… Don't cry." He smiles gently as he wipes my tears "What are you sorry about?"

"I'm sorry for running away." I babble "I should have told you that I like you."

His expression hardens, but he grins crookedly after a few seconds.

"You need to sleep." He says as he gently caresses my cheek. "We'll talk about it when you're sober."

"I'm sober." I babble.

"You're not." He says smiling.

"Maybe I'm not." I agree.

He sits next to me and holds my hand.

"Try to sleep." He insists smiling.

I sit and stare at his lips and then at his sea-green eyes. He leans close to me, with our lips a few millimeters away.

"Try to sleep…" He whispers, his lips touch mine as he talks "I'll be here when you wake up."

I lean closer and kiss him. He kisses me back, but leans back almost immediately.

I feel rejected and it hurts me, but I'm too tired to show it.

I turn my back on him and close my eyes until I fall asleep.

I wake up. As expected, I have a hangover.

I feel something heavy around my waist, it is Finnick's arm.

I turn around trying not to wake him up.

I stare at him. He looks beautiful and peaceful while he sleeps… I softly caress his cheek, and kiss his lips.

He wakes up a few minutes later.

I smile, but he doesn't smile back at me. I can't read his expression, he's serious and quiet.

"Good morning…" I mutter and smile weakly.

We stay silent. He smiles after a long while.

"Good morning." He mutters and kisses my forehead.

What was that? At first he's serious and then he smiles… I guess I'll never understand the enigma that Finnick Odair is…

"Katniss… We need to talk." He mutters as his expression hardens one more time.

* * *

**That's it for this chapter, I hope you liked it!**

**I want to thank you for all of your reviews/follows/favorites... You guys can't imagine how happy you make me!**

**I adore you, thank you for your support! xo**


	15. Chapter 15

**Guys, I'm sorry for taking this long to update! It's just that I've been extra busy because of school!**

**I swear that I almost go insane because of the lack of time I've been having lately.**

**Anyway, here's the update! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

* * *

"Katniss… We need to talk." Finnick mutters as his expression hardens one more time.

I clench my eyes and take a deep breath. I've got a headache. Goddamned hangover.

"What do you want to talk about?" I ask.

It's been a while and I've just noticed that I'm on his room. How and when did I get here? I snort and clench my eyes one more time.

"I want to talk about you and… well… about you and me." He mutters.

Crap. I haven't apologized to him yet.

"I want to tell you something first…" I mutter before he starts talking.

"What is it?" He asks.

"I want to apologize." I mutter "I shouldn't have run away just like that… I…" He puts his finger on my lips.

"You don't have to apologize about anything…" He mutters.

"Yeah, I should."

I feel a lump on my throat; I miss how everything used to be a week ago… Before all of this happened…

"Everything changed since that day..." I continue "I don't know… I… I feel like…"

"How do you feel?" He asks

"I don't know… I … I missed spending time with you..." My voice fades.

We stay silent for a while.

He opens his mouth like if he was going to say something, but he doesn't.

"I should leave…" I mutter as I stand up.

He stands up too and softly holds me by my arm.

"Don't…" He mutters as he leans close to my face and looks me in the eyes.

I melt as I stare into his sea-green eyes. They're beautiful.

He smiles and softly kisses my lips.

My pulse races as he holds me in his arms. I finally feel that the pieces I broke into are finally glued back together, I feel complete.

I've got to admit that I really missed him.

I run my hands through his hair as he keeps kissing me. Nothing matters to me right now. He's here with me. We're safe.

He leans back, stares at my eyes and grins.

"I missed you too." He whispers as he caresses my cheek.

I smile and hold him tight. I know that this is wrong… But I can't be away from him.

Plus, he's my friend, right? It's normal to miss your friends.

He kisses my forehead and holds me tighter in his arms.

"Katniss, I think I need you…" He whispers. His lips are against my head.

My heart races and I get a lump in my throat, though I don't want to cry.

I feel the need to run away, but I ignore it.

Why do I feel this way whenever I'm around him? I mean: I feel comfortable... He makes me feel secure and happy, I forget about everything whenever he's with me; but at the same time, I'm afraid…

I'm afraid of losing him.

I feel how my heart is struggling to come out through my throat and then my mouth...

_«This is wrong. You're not in love with him!» _My inner voice yells at me.

"Katniss… Is everything okay?" He asks.

"Yeah… I'm fine" I reply.

When I think about the possibility of being in love with him, my hands and legs start shaking; my heart hurts with every beat.

_It's impossible_

I shake my head. I know that I need to get out of here, but I don't want to.

I need him. And a half of me thinks that I'm falling in love, though it's completely wrong.

_«Think about how much you'll hurt Gale!»_

Gale.

I haven't thought about how much this will hurt him. I've hurt him an infinite number of times… I just can't do it again…

But… What about Finnick? I can't be away from him. I don't want to.

I'm messed up…

Finnick is my _friend_, Gale is my _boyfriend._

What should I do?

I could leave Gale... But that would probably break his heart one more time...

I sigh.

"What's wrong?" Finnick asks as he steps back.

"Nothing…" I mutter faking a smile.

"Oh, Girl on Fire. You're the worst liar I've ever met." He grins.

"I… I need to think about all of this." I babble as I stare at my feet.

"Katniss, I don't want you to feel any pressure. I'll be okay if you don't want to be with me." He whispers "I won't make you do anything you don't want to…"

"I'm not doing anything I don't want to." I mutter staring at his eyes.

"Great." He whispers.

I softly kiss his lips before leaving his room.

I'm heading one more time towards Haymitch's room.

The door is half open.

He's sitting on his bed rubbing his eyes.

"Haymitch…" I whisper.

He looks at me and smirks as I close the door.

"Should I hide all the alcohol?" He asks mockingly.

"I'm not here to drink…" I snort. "I came here for advice."

"Oh, take a sit then." He mutters.

I do what he tells me to.

"Why do you want my advice?" He asks.

"Because I'm sure you won't judge me." I mutter.

"Advice on what?" He asks.

I blush.

"I…"

I can't do this.

"You… What?" He insists.

My head aches. I don't want to think about what's going on with Finnick and Gale, but I need to.

I'm sure that I'm going to explode if I don't spit it out.

"I don't know what to do!" I yell frustrated.

"About what?" He asks.

"Finnick, Gale, Peeta…" I mutter.

He nods.

My eyes burn because of the tears I'm holding back, though I don't want to cry because I'm sad… I want to cry because of the anger I feel at myself.

"What happened?" He asks.

"I'm confused."

"Why are you confused, Sweetheart?" He asks holding back a smile.

"I miss Peeta; I just can't cope with his absence… On the other hand there are Finnick and Gale…" I sigh "I love Gale, but not the way he wants me to…"

"You've already told me that…" He whispers.

I guess I said that while I was drunk. I don't remember a single thing about what happened after I drowned on alcohol.

"Finnick told me he loves me…" I mutter.

"You've already told me that too." He laughs "And… What's wrong about it?"

"I'm afraid…" I mutter.

"What are you afraid of?" He asks.

"I'm afraid of the small possibility of loving him too." I mutter.

* * *

**That's it for this chapter! I really hope you enjoyed it!**

**As always, I want to thank you for all your support, you're amazing! xo**


	16. Chapter 16

**(Finnick's POV.)**

I'm lying on my bed. We've just returned from our mission to the Capitol.

I'm exhausted, but I just can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about Katniss… I should've never told her what I feel… She reacted the way I was afraid she would…

I haven't talked to her for a while, and I miss that.

I want to talk to her; I want to spend time with her… But I feel vulnerable; I hate it whenever someone notices that I'm hurt…

I lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling for about two hours.

I stand up and walk toward Katniss' room…

I knock.

Her mother opens the door immediately.

"Katniss?!" She asks.

"No…" I reply "Good night Mrs. Everdeen… She's not here, right?" I ask.

"No. I asked if she went to the forest for a walk, but no one saw her." She mutters.

"I'll go look for her." I try to comfort her. "Maybe she's with Gale."

"He came looking for her about an hour ago…" She mutters.

"Oh… If I find her, I'll tell her that you're looking for her." I mutter.

"Thank you, Finnick!" She says smiling.

"It's my pleasure, Mrs. Everdeen." I say with a wide smile.

If she's not with Gale or in the forest, she might be with Haymitch.

I hesitate before knocking his door.

My heart skips a beat when she opens the door. I'm glad I found her; but, my happiness turns into anger when I smell alcohol.

She's been drinking.

"Hey…" She giggles.

"Here you are…" I mutter.

"Did you miss me?" She asks grinning.

"Katniss… Have you been drinking?" I ask as I look at the bottle she's holding.

"Yup. A little. Maybe." She babbles.

"Come on; let's get you out of here." I mutter as I try to snap away the bottle.

"No. Let me finish it, you can't waste stuff here, remember?" She giggles one more time.

I snap the bottle off her hands and throw it into the floor.

No one can see her like that. Her mom will probably get angry and Coin… I don't know why I get the feeling that she'd kick her out.

"I can't let anyone see you like this…" I tell her.

I carry her in my arms all the way to my room.

"You need to sleep." I whisper and carefully lay her in my bed.

"I'm sorry, Finnick." She mutters as she starts to cry.

"Hush… Don't cry." I smile and wipe her tears away "What are you sorry about?"

"I'm sorry for running away." She babbles "I should have told you that I like you."

I frown.

She likes me? My heart races and I can't help but smile.

"You need to sleep." I caress her cheek. "We'll talk about it when you're sober."

"I'm sober." She babbles.

"You're not."I smile.

"Maybe I'm not." She whispers.

I sit next to her and hold her hand. She's beautiful

"Try to sleep." I insist.

She stares at my lips. I lean close to her, our lips are a few millimeters away.

"Try to sleep…" I whisper, our lips touch while I talk "I'll be here when you wake up."

She kisses me and I kiss her back.

She's drunk; she doesn't know what she's doing…

I lean back and I think it makes her upset, because she turns her back on me.

I head to her room when I'm sure she's asleep.

I knock and her mom opens the door.

"Did you find her?" She asks.

"Yeah, I did…" I reply.

"Where's she?" She asks.

"She got drunk…" I reply "She's sleeping… Do you want me to bring her to her bed?" I ask.

"It's ok. I trust you." She replies.

"I'll take care of her. I promise." I sigh "Please don't tell her that I told you about this."

"I won't." She says with a smile.

I go back to my room and lay next to Katniss. She looks so beautiful when she's sleeping. I caress her cheek and watch her sleep until I fall asleep too.

She's still here when I wake up. She's smiling and still between my arms.

"Good morning…" She whispers smiling.

I frown. I can't believe that she's still here…

I smile after a while, because she's still here after all.

"Good morning." I mutter and kiss her forehead.

I need to talk to her about last night. All the stuff she said…

My heart aches when I notice that everything she said last night was unconscious; she was drunk after all.

"Katniss… We need to talk." I mutter frowning.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asks.

"I want to talk about you and… well… about you and me." I babble.

"I want to tell you something first…" She mutters.

"What is it?" I ask.

My heart thumps against my chest.

"I want to apologize." She mutters "I shouldn't have run away just like that… I…"

I put my finger on her mouth. I don't want her to continue, it's not her fault after all…

"You don't have to apologize about anything…"

"Yeah, I should." She insists.

"Everything changed since that day..." She continues "I don't know… I… I feel like…"

"How do you feel?" I ask. My heart is beating like a drum.

"I don't know… I … I missed spending time with you..."

My heart races and I try to hold back a smile. She left me speechless.

"I should leave…" She mutters and stands up.

I stand up and softly hold her by her arm.

"Don't…" I lean close to her face and stare into her beautiful green eyes.

I smile and kiss her.

I don't care if she's not going to pick me over Gale. I'll try to enjoy the moment as long as I can. I hold her waist, pulling her closer to me in case she tries to run away.

I lean back and smile at her.

"I missed you too." I whisper as I caress her cheek.

She hugs me and I kiss her forehead.

I don't want to let her go… I want her to stay with me.

"Katniss, I think I need you…" I whisper against her head. I feel my heart struggling to jump out of my chest as I talk.

I do need her. She keeps me sane.

She's immersing on her own thoughts.

"Katniss… Is everything okay?" I ask.

"Yeah… I'm fine." She replies, still absentminded.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing…" She replies faking a smile.

"Oh, Girl on Fire. You're the worst liar I've ever met." I grin.

"I… I need to think about all of this." She babbles and stares at her feet.

I sigh. I don't want this. I can't bear it. One moment she's with me, the next she's distracted. I have to let her go…

"Katniss, I don't want you to feel any pressure. I'll be okay if you don't want to be with me." I whisper "I won't make you do anything you don't want to…"

"I'm not doing anything I don't want to." She replies staring into my eyes.

"Great." I can't hold back my smile anymore.

She kisses me before leaving.

I lay in my bed.

What am I going to do?

Everything's completely messed up…

I can't just ask her to leave Gale just to be with me… And she wouldn't do that.

I sigh.

This is so confusing…

I still miss Annie, but she's gone and I can't do anything to change it. She'll always be in my heart and I'll always love her. But I need to move on.

I'll try to move on.


	17. Chapter 17

**Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!**

**I'm not in love with this chapter... But anyway, I hope you like it!**

* * *

"I'm afraid of the small possibility of loving him too." I mutter.

"Why?" He insists.

I really don't know. I still miss Peeta, and I guess that I'll miss him forever; I'm with Gale, but I'm not happy as much as I try to be; but everything's different when I'm with Finnick, nothing matters whenever he's holding me between his arms…

"I can't love Finnick, because Gale is my _boyfriend_." I mutter

"But, you don't love him." He frowns "You deserve to be happy."

"I don't." I laugh bitterly. "I've hurt and killed people. I don't deserve happiness."

"You do. Everyone deserves to be happy." He insists. "If you don't love Gale, you should leave him, because you're unhappy… And if he figures it out, you'll only hurt him worse."

I snort. I hate him for being right, so damned right…

"Aren't I right?" He asks with a cocky smile.

"Yeah." I mutter.

"So, what are you going to do?" He asks.

"I don't know!" I yell "Should I leave Gale then?"

"I think you should, because if you don't you'll hurt him and yourself." He replies.

"What about Peeta?" I ask "I miss and still love him…" My voice fades.

"Katniss… He's not going to come back." He whispers.

"I know that, and it tears me apart." I sigh "Do you think that Finnick still loves Annie?" I ask.

"Of course he does." He holds back a smile "But he's moving on. He's trying to be happy…"

He's _trying_ to be happy, unlike me; I'm not making any effort to get out of my problems.

"Your wounds are still open. It hurts both of you." He explains "You both lost the one you loved…" He sighs "Think about Peeta… He'd want you to be happy."

"Don't dare to use Peeta against me." I weakly mutter.

"I'm not." He frowns "I'm just saying that you should do the right thing. You could be happy if you wanted to." He whispers.

"If the right choice is to keep hurting the ones I love, I won't make it."

"Oh, Katniss come on!" He snorts "We both know you love Finnick!"

"Why do you say that?!" I ask terrified "I don't love Finnick! It's impossible…"

"Oh come on…"

Someone knocks on the door.

When I open, Finnick's standing right in front of me.

I gasp when I notice that he might have heard my conversation with Haymitch…

"Did you hear anything?" I ask him.

"I've just arrived." He grins.

"Okay." I smile at him before leaving.

I go to the dining hall to eat something.

"Hey Catnip." Gale whispers as he hugs me from behind.

"Hey…" I mutter faking a smile.

"Where were you?" He asks and then kisses my head.

I blush and my hands start shaking. Crap. What should I tell him?!

"I…" I babble "I was drinking with Haymitch." It isn't a lie, I'm just omitting information.

Gale makes me turn around so I can face him.

"Drinking?" He asks.

"Yeah." I reply.

"And where were you after that?" He insists.

"I didn't leave. I got wasted." I mutter ashamed "I wasn't conscious."

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing, I just have a headache." I reply.

"Are you sure that everything's alright?" He asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He jokes with me while we eat our breakfast, I laugh whenever he says something funny. But I can't stop thinking about _how the hell am I going to tell him_ or _what the hell am I going to tell him._

"Do you want to go hunting?" He asks excited.

"No, thank you… I'm really tired…" I apologize.

"It'll be other day. Go get some rest Catnip." He softly kisses my lips.

I take a bath and then get into my bed. I feel sick and tired. I want and try to sleep, but I can't.

I feel guilty.

I toss in my bed until I decide what I'm going to do.

I'm afraid that my decision will come out wrong, but I have to try.

I get out of bed and go looking for Gale, when I finally find him I whisper:

"Do you want to go for a walk to the forest?"

"Sure, let's go." He agrees with a smile.

He's smiling right now… But I don't know what will happen later…

_Please don't hate me Gale. Please._

We walk for a while, until I stop and he stops behind me.

I face him and stare into his eyes.

"I need to talk to you…" I whisper.

"What do you want to talk about?" He asks smiling.

I take a deep breath.

How the hell am I going to tell him that I don't love him?! I can't just say: _I'm sorry Gale, but I don't love you the way you want me to._

I CAN'T FREAKING DO THIS.

I'm starting to panic. So I slam my lips against Gale's. I catch him off guard, so he leans back.

"What was that?" He asks holding back a smile.

"I don't have an idea…" I mutter as he laughs and kisses me.

I'm a coward. I should tell him right now… I don't want to hurt him.

We sit under a tree and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"I don't want anything to change." He says as he wraps his arms around my waist.

I sigh.

"What's wrong, Katniss?" He asks.

_Everything is wrong…_

"Nothing." I reply faking a smile.

"I can tell when you're lying…" He whispers.

I frown. Here I go.

"Just promise me that you won't hate me for the rest of your life…" I mutter.

"I promise." He gasps "You're freaking me out."

"I… I want to… I want to talk about us." I babble.

"What's wrong with us?" He asks.

"I can't keep doing this. I mean, I promised myself that I'd try to make you happy; I'd try to make up for all the times that I've hurt you…" I mutter "I love you Gale…" I look him in the eyes and try to hold back the tears that are struggling to stream down my face. "I love you, but it's not the way you want me to… I love you the way I love Prim or mom… You're my best friend, and I don't want to lose you."

My hands are shaking, my heart is thumping, my eyes itch, my head hurts… What have I done?

He stays quiet for a while.

"Why are you doing this?" He quietly asks.

"I'm doing this for both of us. I'm not sure of what I feel… I don't want to keep hurting you, because when I hurt you, it hurts me too. And I hate that."

He doesn't say a thing so I continue:

"I'm sorry if I hurt you… I just didn't know how to tell you and I didn't wanted to hurt you anymore, but I realized that if I didn't tell you I'd end up hurting you worse and I don't want to… "

"It's because of Finnick, right?" He mutters bitterly.

"No, it's not because of Finnick. I do it for you and me… I don't want to keep hurting you, it kills me Gale, and don't you understand?"

"No." He mutters as he stands up.

I stand up and look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry." I mutter.

He softly holds my face in his hands and kisses me.

He steps back and I stand there petrified watching him walk away.

* * *

I'm sitting near the lake where I used to come with Finnick; staring at my reflection in the water.

I'm pissed and sad at the same time and I'm sure that Gale won't ever forgive me…

I throw a rock in the water and snort.

_Why am I so selfish?_

I hear footsteps behind me I wait, but he or she doesn't say a word. It must be an animal. I turn around, and he's staring at me, grinning; looking as handsome as always. His eyes shine thanks to the sunlight that filters through the branches of the trees.

"Why are you here all alone?" He asks.

"I broke up with Gale…" I mutter.

He gasps.

"I'm sorry." He whispers as he sits next to me.

"Nah, I'm fine…" I mutter. My voice cracks at the end of the sentence because of the lump on my throat.

"You're not…" He says as he hugs me.

I sigh and rest my head on his chest.

"I'll always be here for you." He whispers as he kisses my forehead.

"Thank you…" I mutter closing my eyes.

"Do you want to swim?" He asks. Even though I'm not looking at his face, I can tell that he's smiling.

"Hmm… No, thanks." I mutter.

"Come on!" He says and tickles me.

"Don't tickle me!" I yell laughing. I push him away and lay in the ground.

"Why not?" He asks and lies next to me.

"Just don't…" I mutter.

He doesn't care and tickles me, we both laugh.

"Stop it!" I yell laughing.

He stops and_ lies on top of me, _balancing himself so I don't take all of his weigh. We stare into each other's eyes.

He kisses me softly and then bites my bottom lip. I laugh and push him away.

"What?" He asks laughing.

"Didn't you want to swim?" I ask smiling.

"Yeah." He replies.

"Then, you should swim." I say as I push him into the lake.

He pulls me into the water and holds me close to him tightly.

He softly kisses my lips and then traces a path of kisses from my jawline to my shoulder blade. His lips feel warm against my skin. I kiss him and he tightens his arms around my waist.

"I love you Katniss…" He whispers against my lips.

I smile against his lips and then lean back.

"I think I might be in love with you…" I mutter staring into his eyes

* * *

**That's it for this chapter, I hope you liked it!**

**As always, I wanna thank you for all of your favorites/follows/reviews! It means a lot!**

**Please tell me if you're liking the story!**

**I adore y'all! xo**


	18. Hey!

Hey guys! I've been busy as hell because of school, so I haven't had a lot of spare time to write. I'm sorry for taking too long to update but I promise that I'll try to post the next chapter tomorrow! I want to thank every single one of you for taking the time to read all the stuff I write, it means the world to me! 


End file.
